


Wrong Number

by Padackles31719



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Jensen Ackles, Dirty Talk, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt Jensen Ackles, M/M, Rimming, Top Jared Padalecki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-04-26 10:43:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 39,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14400480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Padackles31719/pseuds/Padackles31719
Summary: What started out as a text message meant for someone else could turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to Jensen Ackles.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! This is my second ever fic and my first one that's going to be more than just a one shot. I plan on posting this chapter by chapter. I don't have a set posting schedule but I will post at least once or twice a week. And I promise this will have an ending. I normally don't read WIPS for fear of it being abandoned, I promise that won't happen! Also this isnt beta'd all mistakes are mine!

     Jensen stared down at his phone. He's always thought that any time someone posted a screen cap of somebody accidentally receiving a crazy random text from a wrong number was staged. Just assumed people faked it just to get a ton of likes and retweets on Twitter. He never thought he would fall victim to being on the receiving end of what was obviously a text message not meant for him.

  
    He looked down again at the screen, still not over the picture that was sent to him. He's seen his fair share of dicks in his life, mainly in the gay porn he loved to watch, but none were as perfect as this one. Not only was the length impressive, but it had such girth to it. It was beautiful. And the message that accompanied it was seriously turning him on. Jensen couldn't help it, he had to respond. He wanted to hear more filth out of the man with the most stunning cock he's ever seen.

 

  
  
  
  


 

    Jensen's phone started to ring. He looked down and saw the now familiar number. He picked up, and didn't even get a chance to say hello before the voice on the other end started speaking. "If anyone is going to be called pretty here, it's you. You have seen you right?" Jared asked.

 

   Jensen chuckled, "Unfortunately yes. If you think I'm pretty now, you should have seen me when I was younger. I had highlights dude!"  
   

   Jared laughed and to Jensen it was the most beautiful sound he's ever heard. He could not believe his luck. "Man you're gonna have to send me some pictures, you were probably such a hot little twink."

    Jensen blushed, suddenly thankful the man on the other end couldn't see him at that moment. "Yea, I'll definitely do that. So Jared, tell me about yourself." Jensen asked.

   

   "Well what do you wanna know?"

 

   "Ya know, the basics, how old you are, what you do for a living?" Jensen suggested.

  
   "Well I'm 28, I'm originally from Texas but I'm currently living in Brooklyn. And as for my job, well that's something I'm not sure I'm ready to share." Jared hesitated, "Don't wanna scare you off just yet."   

 

    Jensen suddenly had so many ideas flashing in his head as to what this beautiful man did for a living. "Well unless you're a hitman or something equally as terrifying, I think we'll be fine. Besides, with a cock like yours I don't even think being a hitman could turn me off." Jensen said that last part quietly, suddenly embarrassed by his admission.

  
   Jared moaned a little in to the phone, "Yea? You like my big cock that much do ya? I bet it would look even better sliding in between those plump lips of yours." Jensen felt his own dick getting hard at Jared's words. "You have a mouth that was made for sucking cock don't you baby? Bet you love it too, love having a big thick cock being shoved in that pretty mouth."

   

    Jensen couldn't help himself, he shoved his hand in his favorite pair of grey sweatpants and began stroking himself.

  
   "Fuck Jared! I need to get my mouth on you, you're so big it'll probably choke me but I don't fucking care." Jared groaned on the other end, Jensen could hear movements that he could only assume were Jared doing the same thing he was doing. Jensen couldn't believe he was doing this. He's never had phone sex in his life, much less with a total stranger. He just couldn't help himself. Images of that gorgeous man holding the back of his head and fucking in and out of his mouth, holding Jensen there until he was gasping for breath. He began to jerk himself off even faster, twisting his hand on the upstroke.

  
   "That's right baby, I would make you gag on it until you couldn't breathe. And it would be so fucking hot! Bet you swallow too, right gorgeous? You would take my entire load and lick me clean like a good boy?" Jared could picture it so clearly. That pretty man on his knees taking everything Jared could give him.

  
   Jensen never knew he had such a kink for dirty talk. But then again nobody has ever said things like this to him before. Jensen isn't what you would consider all that experienced in the sex department. People think just because he looks the way he does he gets around. Truth of the matter is, Jensen has only slept with two people in his 32 years. He lost his virginity to his college roommates brother when he was 21.

  
   When Chris's brother James, hit on him while he was visiting NYU to see if he would enroll there the following semester, Jensen didn't even know how to flirt back. He had pretty bad social anxiety and was an introvert. He's been that way most his life. But when James had found out that he was a virgin during a game of I Never, well he felt the need to rectify that. Christian was pretty angry when he found out about it but was also relieved that Jensen didn't lose his virginity to a random stranger in desperation. Better the devil you know, right?

  
   The second person Jensen slept with was his one and only boyfriend, Matt. They met senior year at Starbucks where Jensen was working as a barista. They had dated for 8 months, and it did not end well. That was actually a bit of an understatement. But after the breakup and the events that caused it, Jensen pulled back even further than before in fear of getting hurt again. That's why he couldn't believe he was in the middle of having the best sex he's ever had, over the phone, with a man he never met.

  
   "You still with me baby? I didn't go too far did I?" Jared asked. Jensen felt bad that he kinda spaced in the middle of jerking off.

 

   "No, no we're good. Just got lost in my head for a minute, thinking about everything you want to do to me." Jensen put his fingers in his mouth to get them wet and then without any preamble shoved two fingers right in to his ass. "I'm fingering myself, imagining they're your fingers. Bet they're nice and big, just like your dick." Jensen put the phone down and turned it on speaker so he could continue to jerk himself off as he fingered himself.

  
   "Mmm yea baby my fingers are long, gonna finger you so good you'll see stars." Jared was close, just thinking about getting his fingers in Jensen's hole was pushing him over the edge. "Come on gorgeous, I want you to cum for me. Wanna know what you sound like, want you to scream my name as it happens."

  
    Jensen pulled his fingers out of his ass and focused solely on his cock, fucked in to his fist faster and faster. "Yes Jared, God it's so fucking good. I'm gonna cum, fuck! Jared! Jared!" Jensen chanted the other mans name as he came all over himself. Jensen could hear Jared grunt and yell his name in return as he finished himself off. Jensen was trying to get his breathing back to normal. Still thoroughly surprised at himself for the events that just took place.

  
   "Wow Jensen. I am really hoping you're in the tri-state area because if phone sex with you is that good I can't wait to get to have actual sex with you." Jared laughed.

 

   Jensen should have known Jared would think this was going to turn in to something more. I mean if Jensen were normal, he would probably be begging Jared to meet him as soon as humanly possible. But Jensen was not normal.

  
   "Listen Jared, I would love to but umm I can't. You seem like a really great guy and you're so far out of my league it's crazy but I just can't meet you." Jensen felt awful but he knew he just couldn't do it, "I'm so sorry." Before Jared was able to ask why they couldn't meet, the call was disconnected.


	2. Chapter 2

   Jared sat and stared at his phone for what felt like an eternity trying to figure out how everything fell apart so fast. He just had amazing phone sex with a hot guy and now he was left dumbfounded. He eventually put the phone down and went to go clean himself off. He glanced at the clock and realized he didn't have much time before he had to get ready for work.

  
   In retrospect Jared was really glad he hadn't told Jensen that he was a stripper at Get Punished in Chelsea. That surely would have ended the call way sooner than it did. He also was a delivery man for La Bella's, which was an Italian restaurant in Little Italy. He was probably safe telling Jensen about that job. That is if he ever speaks to him again.

    He couldn't get the image of that beautiful man out of his head as he climbed in to the shower. He felt himself getting hard again but chose to ignore it as it didn't feel right to jerk off with thoughts of Jensen after what happened. As Jared washed himself he thought about what he was going to do about the man he was suddenly so taken with. He figured he would give Jensen some time and try texting him again in a few days.

  
   He searched back in his mind and tried to remember if he said anything that crossed a line. He didn't think he did, he has definitely said far worse. He pushed thoughts of Jensen out of his head and got out of the shower to finish getting ready for work. Jared wrapped a towel around his slim waist and made his way in to his bedroom. He opened his top draw and grabbed his turquoise blue Andrew Christian jock strap and stepped in to it. He then put on a pair of jeans that hugged his ass in just the right places. He walked over to his closest and grabbed his white and black striped sweater.

  
   Jared gave himself a once over in his full body mirror that hung behind his bedroom door. He ran his fingers through his shaggy chestnut hair, letting it fall right back in his face just the way he liked it. He put on his shoes, grabbed his keys, wallet and phone and headed off to work. Living in Brooklyn and working in Manhattan meant you didn't really need a car, everything was just a subway or bus ride away.

  
   Jared arrived at work and spotted Chad up on stage already halfway through his second act. He saw Mike and Tom behind the bar, he saluted them and kept walking until he reached the steps leading down to the dressing room. He headed over to his changing station and started getting ready for tonight's show. Each guy that worked at Get Punished usually did 3-4 acts per night.

  
   In between acts they would walk through the crowd trying to get the men and women in the crowd to buy a lap dance. They would take the willing costumer towards the back of the club, into a private booth with a curtain and do their thing. Some guys discretely would offer themselves up and charge a little extra if a costumer wanted to jerk them off, sometimes even blow them. On a very rare occasion some of the performers would even sleep with a customer if they really knew they were trustworthy to keep their mouths shut.

  
   Jared didn't really like to do any of that extra stuff. Between both jobs he was pretty comfortable as far as money goes. He did on occasion find a customer attractive but he would keep things on the up and up and take them out back or in the bathroom and hooked up, free of charge. Hey he was a young guy in his sexual prime, can't fault him for hooking up as much as he can while he still looks as good as he does.

  
  "Hey J-bird what's going on?" Chad asked as he walked towards the changing area.

 "You remember that guy I left with last night?" Jared asked as he took off his shoes and pants and changed in to his first set outfit.

   Chad sat down at his station and started eating his gummy bears, "Yea the really hot blonde twink with an ass you could bounce a quarter off of, how could I forget." Jared laughed, "Well I went to text him earlier and accidentally sent a dick pic and a dirty text to the wrong number."

  
   "Oh my god I hope you didn't end up texting some old lady, dude you could give someone a heart attack with a picture of the Padaconda." Chad was laughing so hard he nearly choked on a gummy bear. Serves him right Jared thought. Padaconda, he can't believe his friends actually named his junk.

  
   "For your information it turned out to be one of the most gorgeous guys I've ever seen. At least from the picture he sent. Fuck Chad he was so hot, surface of the sun hot!" Jared whipped out his phone and showed Chad the picture Jensen had sent him.

  
   "Damn Jay you weren't kidding. Shit only you could go to text one hot twink and end up finding a hot twunk instead."

Jared scoffed, "Jensen is not a twunk, don't talk about him like that." Jared couldn't figure out why he felt so protective over the man he only talked to for a short time, he assumed it came from the guilt of obviously doing something that upset Jensen.

  
   "Sorry man I was kidding, don't get your jock strap all in a bunch."

 

Jared rolled his eyes at Chad, "Anyways we ended up having the hottest phone sex I've ever had and when I asked if we could meet in person, he hung up." Jared explained.

 

"You probably scared him off. I know how dirty you can get, we do live together and our walls ain't exactly thick dude." Chad shuddered remembering one specific time where he heard Jared and Milo, his ex boyfriend.

  
   "Ha Ha very funny. I swear it was tame compared to how I usually talk. I guess he just wanted to get off and cut his losses. I can't stop thinking about him though, that face and my god that voice." Jared thought back to Jensen's whiskey deep voice as he screamed Jared's name when he came. "I'm gonna give him a day or two and try to call him again, hopefully fix whatever damage I've done. I need to see this guy in person." Jared sighed.

  
   "Good plan dude. I gotta get up there and make my rounds then I'm heading out. I'll see you at home?" Chad asked as he stood up and popped a few more gummy bears in his mouth.

 

"Yea man I don't think I'm up to going out after my set tonight, I'm gonna come straight home. See ya!" Jared waved to Chad as he headed up the steps. He finished putting on some black eyeliner, a little body glitter and sprayed himself with his favorite body spray and then headed upstairs for his first set. Thoughts of plump lips and green eyes in the back of his mind.


	3. Chapter 3

   Jensen opened his eyes and saw darkness. He looked over at his clock and saw that it was 8am but due to the black out curtains he had in every room of the house he could never be certain if it was day or night. Jensen reached over and grabbed his iPhone and checked to see if Jared had called or texted him. He was almost certain the man was going to call him right back after he hung up on him. He was more hurt than he thought he would be when Jared didn't call at all before he went to bed.

   Looking at his phone he saw he had a missed text from Chris asking if he needed anything special as he was going to be coming by today with his weekly groceries. And he had a missed call from Danneel. She was probably freaking out that he hadn't called her yesterday to check in but after the call with Jared he had taken his anxiety medication and promptly fell asleep.

   He was so lucky that he had friends that cared about his well being as much as they did. And they never judged him for basically becoming a shut in. After what he had gone through they understood his fear. He's gotten better over the years, thanks in large part to intensive therapy and his friends pushing him little by little. He used to not be able to leave the house at all. Now he would actually be able to go to the Starbucks on the corner or the little market two blocks away. That is as long as he wasn't alone.

   It's been 10 years and that night still held so much power over Jensen. He closed his eyes and he could still feel their kicks, and punches all over his body. While the wounds caused by the hits that just kept on coming are long gone, he still has several scars and burn marks littered all over his body. He shuddered at the thought of what happened that fateful night. He didn't want to think about this now. He shook the thoughts from his head and got himself out of bed.

  
   Jensen headed in to the kitchen to start his Keurig. He leaned back against the counter and let his mind go back to thinking of Jared. Jared and his massive dick. Jensen was already hard, morning wood and all that. He could hear Jared's voice in his head mumbling utter filth, wanting him to come. Jensen quickly walked back in to his bedroom and jerked off to the thoughts of yesterdays conversation. He felt slightly better now that he took care of his erection. He sighed thinking about texting Jared and explaining himself. He felt pretty shitty for just ending the call the way he did.

    Jensen cleaned himself off and made his way back to the kitchen to grab his coffee. He sat down and sent out an apology text, hoping it made up for the way things ended. Jensen knew he could never have an actual physical relationship with Jared but there was no harm in maybe having an over the phone booty call.

  
   It's been almost 10 years since Jensen had sex with someone else, if Jared was willing to keep this strictly over the phone, he could do this. It was safe. He could still get his feelings hurt if Jared said no or if even worse, said yes and then ended it, but he was lonely. He figured it was a big step and his therapist, Misha, would be proud of him for even considering this.  


   Jensen put his phone down and grabbed his laptop and fired it up, might as well get some work done today while he waits. Due to Jensen's condition he was lucky enough to find an editing job for a small publishing house that he was able to do from home. If Jared only knew that editing a gay erotica novel over the last few days was what really led him to have the conversation they had yesterday he would probably laugh. Jensen had been in the middle of editing yesterday when he received Jared's dick pic.

  
   He had been so turned on the last few days and after reading what Jared had inadvertently sent to him, well he just couldn't resist finding a release with another man. Just as he was pulling up his editing program he heard a knock, not just a regular knock though. It had been his therapists idea to have each of his close friends and family have their own signature knock so Jensen wouldn't panic when he heard someone at the door. This particular knock belonged to Christian.

  
   Jensen got up and walked over to the door to let his best friend in. "Quick Jensen grab these bags so I can go help Steve with the rest of them!" Chris exclaimed as he struggled to hold way more than a weeks worth of groceries.

Jensen grabbed a few of the bags and walked towards the kitchen. "Chris seriously did you buy me groceries for a month? This is too much man, half of this is going to go bad." He stated as he started unloading and putting the groceries away.

  
   "Well it kind of is a months worth. Me and Steve got booked for a short club tour and I won't be around for a couple of weeks." Chris rubbed the back of his head, something he did when he was nervous. They heard another knock on the door and Chris ran back to open it for Steve who had the rest of Jensen's things. Jensen was taken back, he knew that one day Chris and Steve wouldn't be around but he was just caught off guard. He was of course happy his friends were finally getting a break, they definitely deserved it.

   The two men walked back in to the kitchen and watched their friend putting away groceries. Remaining silent after hearing the news. "I guess you told him already?" Steve whispered to his band mate.

Chris nodded and looked back over to Jensen. He felt awful leaving his friend, especially for this long but he couldn't give up this opportunity. "I already talked to Dani and she's gonna get you anything you need while we're gone." Chris explained. Jensen continued putting things away, not sure what to say as he didn't want to upset his friends by begging them not to go.

  
   "We'll be gone for a month, 6 weeks tops. And you're doing really good lately Jensen, you can do this man." Steve said as he laid a hand on Jensen's shoulder. Jensen looked up at his friend, he didn't want to disappoint them by falling apart. He would still have Dani. And he didn't have to go anywhere. Misha and he had weekly appointments right there in his living room. He would be ok. He could let his friends go and fulfill their dreams.

  
   "Of course I can do this. I'm sorry guys, this is amazing news. You gotta do this! I'll be ok." Jensen wasn't sure if he was convincing himself or his friends.

 

"Man this is so awesome, we got the call last night. We leave in two days. This is what we've been waiting for!" Chris was practically vibrating as he went on to tell Jensen all of the cities they were due to stop in.

  
   "I actually have some news of my own. Yesterday I got a text, it was meant for someone else, the guy misread a number or something, ended up sending me a picture of his dick. And a really dirty message to go along with it." Jensen blushed as he explained yesterdays events. "We ended up talking for a bit and he called me and one thing led to another and we maybe kind of hadphonesex." Jensen rushed out that last part.

  
   "I'm sorry did you just say you had phone sex? With a stranger? Who sent you a dick pic!?" Chris was stunned. That was totally not something he would ever excpect Jensen to do.

 

"Damn way to go Jensen! That's so hot! What did his cock look like?" Steve asked as Christian elbowed him. "Hey I was just curious and want to make sure if Jensen is gonna have phone sex the guys worth it" Steve winked at Jensen.

  
   "He was definitely worth it. I'm not giving you details but my god he was worth it." Jensen exclaimed.

Chris shook his head, "See this is what I mean, you go and do something like that right as we're about to leave. Look at you taking these huge steps! Before you know it you'll be coming to watch us play like you did in college!" Chris was so proud of his friend.

   Jensen blushed, "I didn't think me having sex with a stranger would make you proud, good to know" he joked.

 

"You've barely spoken to anyone besides us, Dani, and Misha in a decade. I'll take what I can get man." Chris smiled over at Jensen.

 

"We gotta head out though, start packing. But we'll be back tonight, unless you know, you're busy with your mystery man." Steve winked and nudged Jensen.

 

   "His name is Jared and I may have hung up on him yesterday after we umm finished. He asked to meet in person and I kinda freaked out. I haven't heard back from him since." Jensen explained, still embarrassed for how he reacted. "I just texted him an apology before you guys got here. Hopefully he's still sleeping and will answer. If not, no big deal, back to being alone." Jensen shrugged. In the last decade he had come to accept the fact he most likely would continue his life alone, with his friends by his side, and his family that came to visit when they could. He was ok with that. At least he was, before he met Jared.

  
   "Man if he doesn't call you back it's his loss. Anybody would be lucky to know you Jensen, I speak from experience." Chris got up and hugged his friend.

 

Steve patted him on his back, "Yea dude you're one of a kind. I feel privileged to be your friend."

 

Jensen knew his friends were being totally genuine, he smiled back at them. "Thanks guys, now get going you got lots to do. See ya tonight!" Jensen said as he walked his friends to the door and waved them off. He heard his phone beep as he headed back in the kitchen.

  



	4. Chapter 4

   Jared couldn't help but smile as he took Sadie for her morning walk. He was really planning on give Jensen some time before he contacted him. He was so happy to see that Jensen was thinking about him enough to send his own message first. Jared began to go through scenarios in his head as to why Jensen ended their call so suddenly. He knew it wasn't because he was embarrassed by the way he looked because, come on. That man was the definition of perfection.

  
   He walked Sadie until she finished doing her business and headed back towards his apartment. He walked up the three flights of stairs to his and Chad's apartment. Normally he would walk Sadie and go back to bed considering he didn't get home from work until 4am but when he saw Jensen's text he knew he would be staying awake. He let Sadie off her leash and ambled in to the kitchen to make himself a pot of coffee.

  
   He sat down at his two person high top kitchen table and waited for his coffee to brew. He looked down at his phone and figured he could make the call now, he felt a little more awake after being outside. The phone began to ring and Jared was suddenly more nervous than he was when he realized he sent a picture of his cock to the wrong person.

  
   "Hello?" Jared heard the quiet voice on the other end, wondering if Jensen was quiet because it was still early or because he was also nervous.

   

    "Good morning Jensen. Did you sleep ok last night?" Jared asked.

 

    "No not really. I felt so awful about the way things ended with us, I was kind of tossing and turning all night. I'm glad you answered. Wasn't sure if you would."

 

    Jared could now tell Jensen was nervous. It was such a change from the Jensen he got off with yesterday on the phone. This Jensen was way more reserved. But he would take Jensen any way he could get him.

  
    "No please don't feel bad. I promise we're good. Whatever your reason is, which you totally don't have to tell me, is valid. We're good!" Jared tried to reassure the nervous man.

 

    "No I want to explain, well at least some of it? If that's okay?" Jensen asked, sounding so unsure.

   

    "Anything you want to tell me Jen, I'm willing to listen." Jared spoke softly, meaning every word he said. He heard a quiet chuckle on the other end, "Jen. Nobody calls me that, usually it's just Jensen or J. I really like it though."

   

     Jared smiled, "I have a thing with nicknames and pet names, just let me know if I ever call you anything that you don't like and I'll stop."

   
   "Ok. So, umm do you know what agoraphobia is?" Jensen asked.

   

    "Uhh that's when you're scared to go outside right?" Jared asked hesitantly. Of all the scenarios he played out this was definitely not on his list.

 

    "Yea pretty much. Something really awful happened to me when I was a senior in college. I, uh, I don't really want to talk about that just yet."

 

    Jared felt his heart break, "Of course Jen, like I said, whatever you want to tell me."

    Jensen continued, "So umm yea I have pretty severe agoraphobia. I also have severe anxiety and clinical depression. I just recently in the past year or two have left my house to go to a few places close by in my neighborhood. And I have to be with someone else when I go." Jensen said this so quietly, obviously embarrassed by his illness.

  
   "Jen, that's ok. It's ok. I mean this is all kind of new to me but I won't push to meet. I get it now." Jared felt awful. He wondered what could have happened to Jensen that would make him not want to leave the confines of his home for a decade. He couldn't imagine not being able to take Sadie out for a walk, or go to the bar, or work. Work! He wondered what kind of job, if any, Jensen could have with his condition. He didn't think now was the time to ask.

   
   "I don't know if I'll ever be able to meet you Jared. And I'll understand if you don't want to talk anymore. But I don't have very many people in my life, and I don't know why but I feel like you're someone I need in my life." Jensen sounded so hopeful and sincere. Jared was a little upset that he didn't think he would ever get the chance to see this beautiful and broken man in person. But if all he could have were phone calls and text messages with Jensen, he would jump at the chance.

  
   "Look Jensen, I'll be honest I am a little bummed I may never get to see those beautiful eyes in person, or kiss those plump lips, but if talking to you over the phone is all I can have with you, well I consider myself lucky." Jared was being totally sincere in his response.

 

    "Maybe we can work our way up to FaceTime? At least we could see each other? I know it's not much better but it's something?" Jensen offered Jared something he himself had thought of but wasn't going to bring up just yet.

  
   "I would really, really like that. Thank you for trusting me with what you told me so far. And I hope one day, when you're ready, you can trust me with the rest." Jared knew they were gonna have plenty of time to get to know each other, and have the trust between them grow. He would wait as long as he had to for Jensen to tell him what happened to him 10 years ago.

  
   Jared heard quiet sniffling on the other end. "Jen, baby, don't cry. Please?" Jared almost begged.

 

     Another sniffle, "I'm sorry. I just didn't think this would ever happen for me. I wrote myself off to being alone for the rest of my life. And I know we aren't dating or anything but this is more than I've ever expected." Jensen cried.

 

     Jared felt a tear slowly roll down his cheek. "If you want to date we can. I'm not seeing anyone else right now, haven't for a while. And I would really like to see where this goes?" Jared knew this would be difficult but he also could tell that it would be worth it. Jensen was worth it!

  
   "Before this goes any further I do need to tell you something." Jared was terrified that telling Jensen what he did for a living was going to be a deal breaker. But he couldn't keep this a secret. "So ok. I have two jobs at the moment. I'm a delivery driver for an Italian restaurant. But my main job right now, is uhhh well, I’m a male stripper." Jared never once felt ashamed for working where he does, until now.

   

    "Oh. Uhh wow. I wasn't expecting that." Jensen sounded a bit taken back.

  
   "I swear Jensen it's just dancing. Nobody is allowed to touch me. The most touching that happens is when I do a lap dance." Jared tried to get his point across the best he could. He's always honest and upfront before he starts dating anyone, and he is always faithful if he is in a committed relationship. This would be no different despite their unusual circumstances.

 

   "Jared breathe. It's fine. I mean it kind of sucks that strangers get to see you naked and I can't but as long as they can't touch you, I guess it's okay." Jared was relieved.

  
   "Look Jensen like I said I wanna see where this goes, and I want to just be dating you. Not boyfriends, not just yet. But I want it to be me and you, getting to know each other. You have nothing to worry about with my job, I swear on my dog." Jared joked trying to lighten the tension.

 

    "I want that too. Thank you Jared. You have no idea how much this means to me." Jensen started to sniffle again.

 

   "You have no idea how badly I wish I was there baby. I want to hold you and wipe away your tears." Jared hoped one day he would get the chance.

  
   "I'm not saying never Jared. But it took me more than 8 years just to leave my house with people I've known since I was a teenager. It's going to take some time."

 

     "As long as you need Jen, I'll be there when you're ready."

They talked for a little while longer until Jensen told him that he had to get back to work, which he found out was editing books. He laughed so hard when Jensen had told him that he was working on an erotica novel. They hung up with plans to talk later that night. Jared couldn't wipe the smile off his face for the rest of the day.


	5. Chapter 5

   Jensen couldn't believe that HE was dating someone. He never even thought before Jared had accidentally texted him two weeks ago to look for an online or over the phone relationship. He didn't think he could handle it, knowing the person on the other end would eventually hurt him in some way. But Jared, he was different.

  
   They've talked literally every day since the first day of the accidental text. Jared ended up never trying to figure out the right number because like he told Jensen, it was fate that he typed in the wrong number. And you don't mess with fate. Jensen couldn't stop smiling when Jared had said that to him on day 5 when he finally got around to asking about the guy Jared meant to text.

 

   Jensen had barely realized that Chris and Steve had been gone for the last two weeks as well. He was so caught up in all things Jared Tristan Padalecki, and ain't that a mouthful? They've gotten to know each other so much over the course of their short relationship. Jared even got on the phone with Danneel one day while she came over to check in on him. Danneel lived in Queens, while Jensen lived in Manhattan. It wasn't that far, just a subway ride and a short walk away. She tried to visit Jensen at least 3 times a week now that Chris and Steve were gone.

  
   She was actually set to arrive at Jensen's within the hour, so he picked up the phone and scrolled to Jared's name and hit call. "Hey gorgeous, how's the day treating you?"

 

     Jensen blushed, he would never stop getting butterflies in his stomach any time Jared called him a cute pet name. "Today's been good. I got a few more chapters done on that new mystery novel I had started the other day. And Dani should be here in an hour or so. What about you?"

  
   "I took Sadie girl to the park and I just had my early dinner since I'll be delivering all night."

   

     Jensen smiled, any day that Jared wasn't working at the strip club was a good day in his book.

 

    "I just ate but I'm still hungry for something, something that isn't food." Jared moaned softly in to the phone.

 

     Jensen stuttered, "Wha...umm what are you hungry for?" Jensen asked, already knowing what Jared meant.

  
   "I'm hungry for you baby. I was just laying in bed thinking about how good you must taste. Ever since you told me about that homemade coffee scrub you use I can't stop thinking about eating that tight little ass."

 

      Jensen heard Jared jerking himself off. He looked over at the clock and figured he had enough time before Dani got there. He ran in to his bedroom and got rid of his clothes in record time before hopping on to his bed.

  
   "Fuck Jared you always know what to say to turn me on so damn fast." Jensen reached over to his bedside table and grabbed his strawberry lube and his favorite dildo that was molded after his favorite porn star. He lubed up his fingers because no way was that 11 inch dildo going anywhere near his hole without some thorough prep. But fingering himself open listening to Jared was half the fun.

  
   "Yea baby I heard the click of the bottle, you getting your fingers nice and wet so you can stick them in your pretty ass? How many sweetheart? Gonna start with just one or jump right to two like the greedy little slut that you are?"

 

    Jensen has grown to love the dirty filth that pours out of Jared's mouth. He never knew he could go from zero to one hundred just by Jared calling him a slut. Apparently he's more fucked up than he thought.

  
   Jensen already had two fingers in his ass before Jared even questioned him, he pulled them out and put three back in instead. "I'm up to three already, fuck it feels so tight. Gotta work myself even more if I'm ever gonna be able to take the Padaconda!" Jensen grunted out a laugh as he continued to work his hole. He didn't stop laughing for an entire day after Jared told him about the nickname his coworkers gave his cock.

  
   Jared started panting, "Fuck yes baby, when I finally get my hands on you I'm gonna eat you out until you cum. Then I'm gonna suck that beautiful dick of yours while I shove my fingers in you until you cum again."

 

    Jensen had learned that Jared loves eating ass. He's never had it done to him but he has watched gay porn and God he dreamed about one day having Jared do that to him.

  
   He pulled his fingers out and slowly pushed the dildo in. "Jay. Jay I'm putting my dildo in, pushing it deep inside where I wish you were. God fuck it feels so good, I feel so full." Jensen pushed it in until the fake balls were pushed up against his ass.

 

    He started working it in and out as hard as he could, imagining it was Jared pounding in to him. "One day Jay this is going to be you. I promise, I'm gonna let you fuck me so good. I'll be so good for you Jay. Take everything you give me." Jensen promised as he pounded his own ass harder and faster with his dildo.

  
   "Yes baby fuck, always so good for me Jen. I can't wait to get my big cock in that tight hole. It's still tight right sweetheart? No matter how many times you fuck yourself it's still so tight. It's waiting to be pounded by me."

 

    Jensen could tell from the noises Jared was making that he was as close as Jensen was.

  
    "Yea Jay, my slutty hole needs you to fill it. Don't feel complete without you inside of me. Fuck, please, I'm gonna cum. Cum with me, I wanna hear you!" Jensen pulled the dildo out and began to strip his cock as fast as he could, only took a handful of strokes before he was coming all over his belly. He heard Jared on the other end scream his name, and knew the other man came as well.

  
   Jared huffed a little laugh, "I don't know how you do it babe but every time is better than the last."

 

    Jensen shook his head, "It's all because of you Jay, god and your mouth. Fuck I love how you talk to me." Jensen got up and cleaned himself off.

 

    "I think we just make a really good couple. Sex with you is explosive baby."

 

   Jensen wanted to ask if Jared really meant it, that they were a couple. Other than when Jared had said that he didn't want to be boyfriends yet it hadn't come up again.

  
  "Yea it really is, I definitely see fireworks every time I cum with you." Jensen smiled as he put his clothes on. He had ordered himself a pair of wireless ear buds that way he could talk to Jared and use both of his hands, for, umm...things.

 

    Jensen heard a knock at the front door, he hadn't realized how long he was preoccupied with Jared. "Jay, Dani just got here I gotta go let her in but I hope you have a good night at work and text me when you can?" It wasn't always easy to talk to Jared when he was working either job but he did the best he could.

 

    "Of course babe. Have fun with Dani, don't stay up too late. Talk to you soon!"

 

  Jensen headed to the door as he hung up the call. "If I didn't know any better I would say you just had sex. But of course I do know better and you totally did didn't you?" Dani laughed. She thought his and Jared's relationship or whatever they were calling it, was the cutest thing ever.

 

    "If you must know yes, I just hung up with him. Didn't even get a chance to shower because I lost track of time."

 

   Dani laughed, "Go shower you reek like that strawberry lube you love so much. I'm gonna order us some take out and put a movie in" She kissed his cheek and skipped off to the kitchen.

  
   Jensen was just finishing up getting dressed when he heard a knock at the door. He knew Dani would get it. He didn't order anything unless someone was here with him. And he never answered the door.

   "Good evening, that'll be $32.50 ma'am" Jensen heard the southern twang of a familiar voice. He stepped out of his bedroom, and walked in to the living room and couldn't move.

   There at his front door delivering their dinner was Jared.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for leaving the last chapter on a cliff hanger. This chapter's not much better (insert evil laugh here) it's going to get worse before it get's better =)

   Jensen was glued to the spot where he stood. From where he was standing Jared couldn't see him but he could see Jared. And god the man was even more beautiful in person. And tall. Jared told him he was just about 6'5 but seeing it in person, even from a distance was kind of mind blowing.

   

  "Hey Jensen, can you grab the money for the food, I left it in the kitchen on the counter." he heard Dani shout from the front door.

   

   When he didn't move, she turned around to see him standing like a statue in the middle of the living room.

 

    "Wait, Jensen? My Jensen? Are you Danneel?" Jensen heard Jared ask.

 

   "Oh my god, are you Jared!?" Danneel asked sounding like this was the best thing instead of the absolute worst.

 

    This wasn't supposed to happen. If he was ever going to see Jared in person it was supposed to be on his terms, when he was ready. Not now. Not yet. This was not okay, he was not okay. He suddenly couldn't breathe. This was too much. Can't breathe. No no no. This wasn't happening. "I'm not good enough for him" was the last thought Jensen remembered having before he saw nothing but darkness. 

 

   "Come on baby, wake up for me. It's okay, I'm here. You're okay."

 

    Jensen heard the familiar voice repeat over and over. His eyelids began to flutter, he was so scared to open them. He knew what he would see once they were open, almond shaped hazel eyes and dimples that could melt an iceberg in Antarctica.

 

   "Come on my love open those beautiful green eyes for me. I'm right here." Jared whispered softly, not realizing that was exactly Jensen's problem. He was right there. He wasn't supposed to be. 

 

    Not being able to take Jared slowly running his fingers through Jensen's short spikey hair any longer, he opened his eyes. Jared had his head in his lap, something he probably should have realized sooner. He shot up so fast he even surprised himself. He took off like a scared animal and ran to the safety of his bedroom and slammed the door behind him. 

 

   He slid down the back of the door once he made sure it was locked, and began to cry. He was such a mess, he was a basket case and now after Jared seeing him have a panic attack and pass out, he wouldn't want him. Who would want the freak who was pretty much scared of his own shadow.

 

   Over the last couple of weeks Jensen has seen how much of a people person Jared is. He thrives on it. He's so open and outgoing, the total opposite of Jensen. He could never give Jared what he deserves, he could never be enough for that beautiful man.

 

   He heard a soft knock on his bedroom door, a knock he didn't know. "Baby? I was just thinking that maybe this could be my knock, ya know? Maybe you won't be so scared if you know it's me?" Jared asked sounding so utterly hurt. "I know you weren't expecting this, neither was I. Never in my wildest dreams did I think something like this would happen. But I'm not sorry Jen."

 

   Jared sounded so sincere. Jensen wasn't sorry either, he's glad he got to see Jared in person. But he knew he had to end it. He wasn't ready for this.

 

     Jensen sat with his knees to his chest, and his arms wrapped around them as he continued to cry. He cried for the impending loss of something he never thought he would have again. He cried for the man on the other side of his bedroom door who really seemed to care about him. He cried for himself, the broken shell of the man he was meant to be.

 

   "Jen, if you don't want to open the door I get it. But please baby, please talk to me? I don't want what we have to be ruined because I showed up here by accident." Jensen felt his heart break even more knowing the hurt he was causing Jared. 

 

   "I'm sorry Jared I don't think he's ready to deal with this yet. It's probably the scariest thing to happen to him in a long time. Maybe you should go?" Danneel said to Jared.

 

   Jensen wondered if she was with him the entire time as he pleaded with Jensen to talk to him.

 

   "Yea okay, you're right. I should go." Jensen didn't want Jared to go but he knew it was for the best.

 

   "Baby I'm gonna go, I gotta get back to work anyways. Please Jensen I am begging you, please answer when I call you later." Jared pleaded.

 

   Jensen uncurled from around himself and placed his hand on the door. Imagining Jared on the other side doing the same. When Jensen still didn't answer he heard Jared whisper "Bye Jen." as he presumably got up and left.

   A few moments later he heard the front door close and footsteps approach his bedroom. He heard Dani's familiar knock at his door. He knew she would go get a butter knife and unlock the door from the outside if he didn't let her in. They've been through this before. He managed to get up and unlock the door, didn't bother to open it before he walked over and collapsed on his bed. Dani was there in an instant wrapping her small frame around Jensen's larger one. Jensen's entire body was shaking with the force of his sobs.

   She tried to comfort him the best she could but no amount of words were going to help him. He knew he was doing this all to himself, causing this pain. But better now than later right? Jared would eventually tire of only being to able to talk to Jensen on the phone. He deserved someone who would take him out on actual dates, go to a Rangers game with him or could go watch him perform at work. Jensen would never be able to do any of that.

 

   No, when Jared called him later he wouldn't answer. Jared would get the hint and move on. Maybe find the guy from the club that night. Or maybe find someone else. Anyone was better than Jensen. He closed his eyes and let the exhaustion take over. Food and movie forgotten. 

    

 


	7. Chapter 7

   Jared was in shock. That was the only way he could describe how he was feeling in this moment. He knew Jensen lived in Manhattan but he didn't know he lived close enough that La Bella's delivered to his house! And he certainly wasn't expecting Jensen to look even more gorgeous in person. He thought back to the cinnamon colored freckles scattered across the other man's face as Jared held his head in his lap. When Jared heard Danneel scream and run to Jensen after he passed out, his entire world stopped. 

   He knew that Jensen had a lot of issues, none of which were his fault. He hadn't expected the man to panic so much that he collapsed from the mere sight of him. And that right there had shattered Jared's heart in to a million pieces. That Jensen was so terrified of seeing Jared that he had a panic attack. He hadn't meant to scare Jensen. He imagined so many times over the last few weeks how his first meeting with Jensen would go. This was certainly not what he pictured. 

   Jared walked down the steps of the brownstone and got back on his delivery bicycle and started pedaling back to work. As much as he wanted to just sit outside Jensen's door and beg for the man to talk to him, he had a job to do.

   As soon as he got back to work his boss could tell Jared wasn't himself. He asked if Jared needed to go home but he shook his head no. He knew if he went home now he would call Jensen and he figured he would at least give him a few hours to calm down before he called.

    Jared finished up at 11pm, hopped on the subway and headed home. He doesn't know how he managed to make it through his entire shift, all his thoughts kept circling Jensen. His Jensen, with those beautiful green eyes, and those lips. He ran his finger all across those lips as Jensen laid passed out in his lap. He felt odd having Danneel watch him like that with Jensen but he couldn't help himself. He was so gone over that man. When Jensen finally woke up and took off before Jared could even realize what was happening, those shattered pieces of his heart pretty much disintegrated.

    He didn't think Jensen would run from him once he got up. He thought that once Jensen woke up he would smile up at Jared, relieved to see him. He thought that he would finally get a chance to hug him, to hold him, maybe even have their first real kiss. But no, Jensen ran off and locked himself away. He was more surprised that Jensen wouldn't even talk to him from the other side of the door. That kinda hurt. He knew Jensen hated being around people, but talking, not face to face, well they had that down pat. 

   Jared made his way home, Sadie waiting for him eagerly by the door once he opened it. Basically on autopilot he grabbed her leash, hooked her up and headed out for her walk. Once they were done he headed inside, grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat down on the couch. He wasn't sure if it was too late to call Jensen but he knew if he didn't Jensen would read in to it and he didn't want that. So he picked up his phone and dialed the number he now had memorized. After a few rings it went to voicemail. Maybe Jensen was already asleep. He decided to leave a message. 

   "Hey love, it's me. I just got home from work and wanted to hear your voice. I know I said it before Jen but I am not sorry I saw you. I know you weren't ready and for that I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart. You weren't ready for it but there's nothing we can really do about it now. I swear I won't push you to see me again. If you're not ready for that I understand I swear. But please baby don't shut me out. Don't give up on me, on us. I was going to wait to do this but I want us to be official. I want to be your boyfriend. Please say you'll do me that honor?" Jared felt tears rolling down his face as he began to sniffle. He hadn't cried like this in a really long time. "Well ok baby I'm gonna go to sleep, please call me as soon as you get this. I don't care if its the middle of the night or first thing in the morning, just please Jensen, call me back." Jared sniffled again and hung up. 

    He heard the front door open, surprised to see Chad. "Dude are you okay? Mario called me and told me you weren't looking too hot at work tonight and said I should check on you. What happened?" Chad asked with such concern. He wasn't used to seeing Jared like this. Jared was all smiles, sunshine and rainbows pretty much all the time. He hadn't looked this bad since he found out Milo was cheating on him.

     "I saw Jensen."   

     Chad looked confused, "Umm dude that's a good thing? Why would seeing your boy make you this upset? Did he get one look at your ugly mug and break up with you?" Chad joked trying to get his friend to smile. Jared just kept crying. 

    Chad sat down on the couch next to him, "Seriously Jay what happened?"

    Jared tried pulling himself together enough to tell Chad the details. "I was on a delivery and this girl opened the door, I heard her ask her friend Jensen to bring her the money to pay. It clicked immediately that the girl was his best friend Danneel. All of a sudden she turned around, screamed and took off. I ran in after her to find Jensen out cold on the floor."

   Chad was stunned, he didn't know much about what happened to Jensen, just that he was basically a shut in. He didn't think the guy would pass out just from Jared showing up at his door. 

    "After Danneel explained he had a panic attack and fainted, something that happens pretty often, I sat down and put his head in my lap and tried to talk to him until he woke up. When he finally did he shot up like a rocket and took off and locked himself in his room. He wouldn't even talk to me man." Jared was crying again, "He couldn't even bare to look at me or speak to me. I scared him that much."

    Chad felt so bad for his best friend. "Come on Jay it's okay, you know he has some problems, don't take it personal. He was probably just surprised." Chad tried reassuring him. 

   "I know, I get that. It just hurt so much. I've thought about nothing besides seeing him in person, about all the things I would do to him." He heard Chad chuckle. "Not like that asshole, I just wanted to hold him and kiss him and feel him in my arms ya know? I wasn't expecting this." Jared admitted.

    "Just give him time Jay, I'm sure he'll call you tomorrow and everything will be fine. You look like crap though, maybe you should get some sleep." Chad offered.

    Jared nodded, "Yea, you're right. I'm sure he'll call as soon as he wakes up and even if he doesn't want to see me in person again we can just go back to how things were." Jared was trying to convince himself everything would be fine. 

   "Go back to work dude I don't need you getting in trouble because of me." Jared figured it was still early enough for Chad to head back to work for his last few sets.

   "Only if you're sure you're going to be good by yourself?"

    Jared was so grateful to have a best friend that cared so much. "Yea I promise, I'm okay. I'm gonna just head to bed. Thanks Chad, you're a good friend." He patted his friend on his back and headed off to bed.  

    


	8. Chapter 8

    Jensen woke up to the smell of coffee. He figured Dani got up to make it for him, knowing how much he relied on it when he woke up. His thoughts immediately shifted to the night before, to Jared. He reached over and unplugged his phone and unlocked it. He saw he had a missed call and voicemail from Jared. He wasn't sure if he was ready to listen to it but he hit play nonetheless. 

   Danneel came in to his room holding a mug of coffee, and found him crying on his bed. She slowly put the cup down and went over to console him. "God Dani, I can't. You should hear the message he left me." Jensen couldn't stop the tears. "He asked me to be his boyfriend. Why? Why would he want someone so fucked up?"

    Danneel wrapped her arms around him. "Because he sees who you really are Jensen. You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You are not your illnesses." They've had talks like this before. But Jensen's self esteem was so low he never believed it, never believed he was more than just a fucked up head case who couldn't leave the house. 

    "J, you should have seen him with you when he saw that you passed out. He was freaked yea but when he scooped you up and put your head in his lap, the way he looked at you. I would kill to have someone look at me like that." she whispered that last part quietly. She didn't want to make this about her. "Are you going to say yes? To being his boyfriend?" she asked him.

    Jensen looked up at her, "Are you kidding? Of course not! I can't Dani. He may want that right now, probably because of the amazing phone sex we have. But eventually he'll get bored of his right hand and leave. It's better to cut my losses now." Jensen figured if he was this hurt now just thinking about the inevitability of Jared leaving him his heart would feel so much worse if this happened a few months down the line. "And besides he still has no idea what happened that caused me to be like this. Once he hears about that, how weak and pathetic I was. How stupid I was, he'll run for the hills. Nobody wants a damaged boyfriend." Jensen was certain this was the right choice and nothing anyone said was going to change his mind.

   "I think you're making a huge mistake but I won't push you, I know that it never works. Just think about it before you end things, really think about it." she sighed and got up off the bed and headed out in to the kitchen.

   Jensen didn't need to think about it. He knew Jared deserved better, that's all he needs to know. He typed out a quick text, something he wasn't planning on. But he knew just ignoring Jared's calls was a really shitty thing to do and he couldn't do that to him. 

 

[ ](https://imgur.com/rp3mDoD)

 

       He quickly went in to Jared's contact information and blocked his number. He felt guilty as hell but he needed to do this. Jared would be fine. He was gorgeous, and built like a greek god with the kindest heart. He'll find someone who deserves him. He was certain of it. He put his phone down, got dressed and took his coffee out to the kitchen. He didn't want to tell Danneel what he had done just yet. He needed a few cups of coffee before dealing with her yelling at him for what he's done. 

   They ended up laying around having a chick flick marathon courtesy of Dani. Jensen couldn't figure out how watching all these depressing love stories was supposed to help him. It just made him feel so much worse. 

   Around dinner time Dani finally asked if he'd heard from Jared again. Jensen was surprised it took her this long to ask. "No, I haven't and I'm not going to. I thought about it Dani and I decided to end things with Jared. It's what's best and I don't want you to argue with me. It's my decision. I just want things to go back to normal."

    Jensen looked over and saw her biting her lip, fighting the urge to yell at him. She shook her head, "I hope you know what you're doing." Jensen hoped so too. 

    They had just finished watching P.S I love you when there was a knock at the door. Jensen froze. That was the same knock Jared used on his bedroom door yesterday. He started rocking back and forth, he couldn't see Jared. He thought he made himself clear, it was over. Why was Jared here? Why would he come back? Why would he do this to Jensen.

    All of a sudden he felt Dani's arms around him, "Breathe sweetie, come on Jensen. In and out, follow me. Come on. That's it, just like that." He tried his best to breathe just like she was. 

    When she finally calmed him down, Dani got up and opened the front door. Nobody was there. But when she looked down she found a chestnut brown teddy bear, and Twizzlers, Jensen's favorite. She picked them both up, noticing a note attached to the bear. She wasn't going to read it, that was something Jensen needs to do on his own. She walked back inside and sat down next to Jensen. 

   "I'm guessing he's not giving up on you yet Jensen. If these are anything to go by." she handed Jensen the bear and candy.

    He started tearing up, why did Jared have to be so sweet and perfect? Even if he hadn't listened to Jensen and actually showed up at his house again, the gesture was so touching. He took the note off the bear and cuddled it in his arms. He could smell cologne on it, he assumed it belonged to Jared. He brought it up to his nose and inhaled, if this is what Jared smelled like, it was amazing. He opened the note and began to read. 

    " ** _Hi Jensen! My name is Jay Bear. I was bought especially for you. My friend Jared really wishes he were able to be here to cuddle you but since he can't he gave you me instead. He wanted me to tell you he's not giving up on you. And that you can take all the time you need because he's not going anywhere. He said that there is nobody that deserves him more than you. He wants you to give him a chance to prove that to you. If you truly can't find it in your heart to give it another try, he said he would understand. As much as it would hurt he will let you go if you really really want him to. He said you know where to find him. -Love Jay Bear._**

 

[ ](https://imgur.com/uI4JJVA)

 

    Without another word Jensen got up, took Jay Bear, went to his room and cried himself to sleep. 


	9. Chapter 9

    It's been 8 days, 7 hours, and 42 minutes since he last had contact with Jensen. Not that Jared was keeping track or anything. The day that Jared had dropped off Jay Bear, his last ditch effort at saving what he and Jensen had, he had told his boss to call him immediately if an order came in for Jensen's address. Jared didn't care what he was doing, if that call came in, he was taking it!

     Jared thought for sure after leaving the teddy bear and Jensen's favorite candy he would at least get a call to thank him. Then he could try and plead his case to Jensen. But alas, no phone call, not even a text. Jared was beginning to lose hope.

   He was going to give Jensen time, he wasn't ready to start dating anyone else. And he definitely wasn't looking for a one night stand. After he caught Milo red handed cheating on him, Jared went out and slept with any guy that was interested. He learned pretty fast that sleeping around didn't really make him feel any better. He felt cheap and used. He was not going that route again.

    Jared snapped out of his thoughts when he heard footsteps come down the dressing room steps.

    "J bird how's it hanging?" Mike asked. He hadn't been at the club in the last few days, as he wanted as many shifts at La Bella's on the off chance Jensen called.

    "I'm good Mike." his friend looked at him with a yea right expression but he said nothing.

    "We've missed you around here man. The Fireman number isn't the same without you in it. You and that big hose of yours" Mike laughed. 

    "Yea I missed you guys too, I've been working my other job a lot this week. But I'm back to my regular schedule now." Jared explained as he slipped in to his black leather pants. He pulled his black leather harness over his head and looked in the mirror. He looked ready on the outside, on the inside, not so much. He needed to get back in the mindset for this.

    "Well you look hot J bird, go get em man!" Mike waved and headed back upstairs. 

      He heard the sounds of Tom's 2nd act coming to an end which meant he was up next. He took a deep breath and headed upstairs.

    Stephen was just getting on stage to announce him. The opening to Prince's Erotic City pumping through the speakers, Jared took the stage. He started to move his body with the beat of the song. He could do this, slip back in to this like a second skin. He let the lyrics of the song wash over him.

 

_"If we cannot make babies, maybe we can make some time_

_Thoughts of pretty you and me, Erotic City come alive_

_We can fuck until the dawn, making love 'til cherry's gone_

_Erotic City can't you see, thoughts of pretty you and me"_

 

Jared spotted a bachelorette party right in the front, he slinked across the stage like a serpent. Making his way to the rowdy bunch of girls he rolled his body. He kneeled in front of them and grabbed the hand of a woman wearing a sash that said "Bride to be" on it. With her hand in his he let her feel his body, his rock hard abs, inching down close to his crotch before he let go and winked.

   He got up and danced his way across the stage over to a table with three guys. He turned around and started swaying his hips, running his hands down his own body, and slowly started to pull down his leather pants. He turned back around the took them off completely. Leaving him in his harness and a black jock strap. One of the guys was holding a $20 bill in his hand so Jared made his way closer so the man could put it inside his jock strap.

    The dark haired man slipped the bill inside,  Jared winked and went to get up to finish his act but the man grabbed his junk and wouldn't let go. He grabbed Jared's wrist, "Come on baby I just gave you a $20, I think that deserves more than a wink and a little booty shake. Give me what I want pretty boy." the guy reeked of alcohol. Before he knew what was going on, Clif, the clubs bouncer was pulling the guy off Jared and escorting him and his friends out of the club. 

    The rest of the audience was quiet, but Jared had an act to finish. He got up, shook it off and kept going. After his set he ran downstairs, not stopping to talk to anyone. He ran over to his station and braced himself on the counter top. Things like this happen less often than you think. Most customers are happy with just watching, and if they really want to touch there are ways for that too. 

   The sound of his phone ringing from his jacket pocket that was hanging on the back of his chair snapped him out of the trance he was in. He looked down and saw 3 missed calls from La Bella's. He never hit call back as fast as he did in that moment.

    "Jay man I've been trying to call you, we had an order come in for that address. But you didn't answer so I sent Nick out with it. I'm so sorry. We waited as long as we could to send it out." his boss Mario explained.

    Jared couldn't believe it, Jensen called his job and placed an order and he missed it. "Thank you for calling me, I'm at my other job, that's why I couldn't pick up. I'm gonna head over there now though, thanks again!" his boss said goodbye and hung up.

    Jensen had to have known there was the chance of Jared showing up to deliver the food, maybe he was even counting on it. He threw his street clothes on and ran for the subway. When he got to Jensen's house he was suddenly terrified, this could go horribly wrong. He took a deep breath, walked up the steps and knocked.  

 


	10. Chapter 10

   Jensen was sitting on the couch looking at his pasta. He lost his appetite when Dani opened the door and it wasn't Jared. Of course Jared wasn't coming, why would he? Jensen was foolish to think Jared would actually give him time and wait for him.

    He should've stuck to his gut instead of listening to Dani and Misha. He had 3 therapy sessions in the last 8 days. Misha had finally convinced Jensen to give Jared another chance. Anybody that was willing to communicate via a stuffed animal was worth another chance.  

    "Maybe he was off tonight Jensen. Don't read in to this, it doesn't mean he gave up on you." Dani was trying her best to comfort him but Jensen obviously had already made up his mind as to what this meant.

    "Forget it Danneel, this was stupid anyways. I didn't even want to do this, I should have just left it alone. I've been on my own for 10 years, that's never going to change." Jared and he had only talked for a short amount of time, he couldn't understand why everyone was making such a big deal out of it. Granted it was his first almost relationship in a decade, but still.

      Danneel was just about to open her mouth to argue with him when they heard a knock at the door. A knock Jensen remembered. He felt an attack coming on, "Dani it's him. Open it. I..I can't. You have to."

    Danneel nodded, "I need you to breathe first Jensen. I'm going to be right here. He is not going to hurt you. You're fine, just take deep breaths." Jensen did as he was told. When she was convinced he wasn't going to pass out she headed over to the door. Jensen heard them speak so quietly he couldn't make out what they were saying.

    After what felt like an eternity Dani walked back in the living room, alone. "He wanted to make sure you were ok with him being here. He didn't want to upset you by just coming in. So are you ready for this?" she asked.

   No, he was absolutely not ready for this but Jared was here and he didn't want to let him go for a second time. Jensen was so nervous he couldn't get the words out, he just nodded his head. Dani turned and walked back to the front door.

    He was starting to have trouble breathing again. He felt his chest tighten. He started rocking back and forth, something he did when he was having very bad anxiety. Jared couldn't see him like this, not again. Bad idea, this was a very very bad idea! Jensen scolded himself.

    He didn't realize he had shut his eyes, he only opened them when he felt the couch move. He was a little disappointed when he realized it was Dani sitting down next to him. Jared was standing on the other side of the living room, sweating, like he ran all the way here from wherever he was. He still looked perfect. 

    "Hey bab...I mean Jensen. Sorry." Jared looked away. Jensen mumbled a soft hi, as he continued to rock back and forth. At least his breathing slowed down, he could deal with the rocking.

    "Jared why don't you have a seat." Danneel pointed to the small love seat on the opposite side of the couch she and Jensen were sitting on.

    He nodded, "Thank you. I'm really nervous. I don't want to do anything to upset you." he sat down and put his hands in his lap.

    Jensen wasn't sure if he was going to be able to actually talk to Jared, especially with him sitting right there! He gently nudged Danneel and shook his head. She sighed, knowing he meant for her to take control because he couldn't.

      "So Jared, I'm guessing you weren't working tonight? How did you know to come?"

     Jared turned the most adorable shade of red. "Ummm well I kinda told my boss if they got a call to deliver here to let me know. I was actually at my other job when I got the calls." Jared started to pick at a string on his ripped jeans. "There was an incident at work, I got here as fast as I could."

      "Are you ok?" Danneel and Jared both looked at Jensen, surprised that the question came from him.

    "Yea Jen, I'm good. I mean it kind of sucked but I'm ok. Some guys just can't keep their hands to themselves. They were thrown out though." he tried reassuring Jensen.

     "That's good, that you're ok I mean. Not that someone touched you that you didn't want touching you." Jensen felt so silly. He knew he should've just kept quiet. He looked over at Jared, who was smiling at him.

     "No I knew what you meant. Thanks for being worried about me. I've been pretty worried about you myself." Jared admitted. 

     "Yea I'm sorry about that. This is all still very new to me, and something I wasn't anticipating. But I umm I really miss you Jared. And Jay Bear misses you too." Jensen picked up the bear that was next to him on the couch to show Jared he still had him close by.

     That got a stunning smile with those cute dimples. "I'm glad you're keeping him close, it's what I got him for, to be there for you if I couldn't be. I'm kinda hoping that maybe you'll let me be there for you though? I'm a little jealous he's gotten to cuddle you and I haven't." 

   How did Jensen think he would be able to resist this man. This giant of a man with his even bigger heart. "I think that would be good. I mean Jay Bear is great but I kind of need someone a bit bigger to cuddle me. And Dani kicks in her sleep."

      Jared chuckled as Dani hit Jensen in the shoulder, "I do not you liar! And even if it were true at least I don't talk in my sleep! You know how many times I've had to hear 'Yes Jared harder fuck' every night that I've slept here!"

    Jensen was mortified, he didn't even want to look up at Jared to see his reaction. He was going to kill Danneel!

   "Hey I'm sure if you ask my roommate Chad he'll tell you something similar that he heard coming from me. I just might have been awake and umm relieving some tension as I said those things." Jared shrugged.

    "And on that note, I'm gonna go get a few beers out of the fridge, you two behave." Dani said as she got up and left them alone. 

     "Jen, can I come sit next to you?" Jared asked looking so hopeful that Jensen would say yes.

    He didn't think he was ready for Jared to be that close yet, but he nodded his head  anyways. Jared got up and made his way next to Jensen. Before he knew what was happening he had Jared's arms wrapped around his waist and his head against his chest. He felt Jared's body shaking with sobs, he could barely make out Jared repeating, "I thought I lost you. I'm sorry." over and over again. Jensen felt even more guilty than he already had. 

    He started running his fingers through Jared's soft hair, "I'm sorry Jay, I am so sorry that I hurt you. I shouldn't have let my illnesses get the better of me. I should've had more faith in us, in you. I was so worried about you hurting me that I ended up hurting you." Jensen couldn't stop his tears from falling as he apologized to Jared. They sat there for a while longer, crying and holding each other. Jensen felt like he wanted to run, but looking down at the broken man he was holding, he knew this was where he belonged. 

   

   


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's an extra long chapter with fluff and sexy times to make up for all the angst so far lol

      Jensen sat there with a lap full of Jared. He had eventually cried himself to sleep. Between their reunion and what had happened to Jared at work, he couldn't fault the man for passing out on him.

     Dani had come back with the beers and taken in the scene in front of her. She ended up placing them on the table and telling Jensen she was going to go out for a little to meet some of her girlfriends that lived nearby. She took Jensen's spare key so she wouldn't have to wake him up if she got home late. 

   Jensen sat there looking down at Jared, taking in all the features that weren't as vivid in the pictures he's seen of the sleeping man. Jensen guessed this is what Jared must've felt like that first night when Jensen had an attack and collapsed. He kept running his fingers through Jared's hair, still in shock that this was really happening. That Jared not only forgave him but was here, in his house, on his couch, in his arms.

    Jared started to shift, he had to be getting uncomfortable sleeping like this. Jensen's couch was a good size and Jared had done his best to curl in on himself but still he would be better off in Jensen's bed. And oh man did that thought scare the ever loving shit out of him. Jared in his bed!

    "Jay, wake up babe." Jensen skirted his fingers down Jared's cheek.

   "Hmm? How long was I out for? " Jared asked all adorable and sleep ridden. He looked up at Jensen and gave a soft smile, Jensen couldn't help but give one right back.

    "Not too long, almost two hours. I just figured if you were that tired maybe you should sleep in my bed. I mean I can sleep out here, the couch pulls out." Jensen started to turn red just thinking of Jared in his bed, leaving it smelling like him.

     "No way, I wouldn't kick you out of your own bed. I can take the pull out, you go to bed, you look as beat as I am."

    Jensen knew this wasn't going to end well, both wanting to make the other more comfortable by offering to sacrifice their own backs on the pullout. 

     Jensen knew this was going to be the biggest step he's taken so far, "We could uhh, we could both sleep in my bed? I mean just to sleep, if you know, you want to?" He looked over at Jared who was now sitting up next to him.

    "I would like that more than anything Jen."

     Jared's smile was going to be the death of him. He stood up and Jared followed suit, Jensen watched as Jared stretched his arms above his head. He was mesmerized by the sliver of skin he saw as Jared's shirt lifted up a bit. He licked his lips without even realizing Jared was watching him with a knowing look on his face.

    Jensen turned red, embarrassed at getting caught staring. Jensen cleared his throat, "Ok well the bathroom is that door there if you need to wash up, and you uhh know where my bedroom is." he pointed over to his door. 

       "I could really use a shower if that's ok? I feel kind of dirty after that guy put his hands on him" Jared visibly shuddered.

    “Of course, you can use anything you need in there of mine. And there are towels in the cabinet underneath the sink. The showers pretty simple to figure out but just yell if you need me," Jensen offered.

     "Thanks Jen. Is it ok if I hug you? If not I totally understand."

     How could Jensen say no to that? "Yea Jay, I would really like that."

    That's all Jared needed to hear before he was pulling Jensen in and wrapping him up tight. Jensen inhaled, smelling the familiar cologne that Jay Bear had on. He felt Jared kiss the top of his head. "I'm so glad I'm here." Jared whispered as he let go and headed in to the bathroom.

Jensen couldn't get the smile off of his face. He was still pretty terrified, don't get him wrong. But he felt it deep down inside that this was something he needed. He made his way in to his bedroom and began to strip out of his clothes.

    When Dani wasn't sleeping here he would normally sleep naked. She had a rule about Jensen at least sleeping in boxer briefs when she slept over. Dani knew all about the marks that covered his body, he was comfortable enough to stay shirtless around her. He wasn't ready for Jared to see them yet. At least not the marks on his chest, the scars across his thighs were so faint you could barely notice them.

    He was really nervous about sharing a bed with Jared. Who was currently in his shower, naked, dripping wet. Jensen started getting images in his head of that tall, tanned body, all soaking wet. Jensen felt himself getting hard in his pajamas. He tried to think about other things, he didn't want Jared to get the wrong idea if he walked in and Jensen was rock hard. 

     He heard the shower turn off. He jumped in to his bed, attempting to hide away until his erection dissipated. He looked up and saw Jared standing there in nothing but a towel. Yea that was certainly going to help his not so little problem, he thought as he rolled his eyes at himself.

    Jared tilted his head, "Are you ok babe?"

     Jensen coughed and shook his head, "Uhh yea no I'm good, how was your shower?" Jensen was trying to look anywhere but at Jared's beautiful nearly naked body. 

    "It was really great, just what I needed. The thing is I can't exactly sleep in my jeans and I was wearing my jock strap from work under it. Do you have anything I could put on?" Jared asked.

    Jensen wanted to say no just so Jared would have to sleep naked, or at the very least put his jock strap back on. He's seen pictures of the man wearing one and damn he really needed to stop thinking like this. 

     Despite all of his issues he was still a healthy 32 year old man, he had needs. In a move that he's sure shocked himself more than it did Jared, Jensen got up off the bed, and made his way over to Jared still sporting his hard on.

    He hoped he wasn't making a mistake, he slipped his fingers right inside the towel. He looked up at Jared who nodded in approval. That's all Jensen needed, he pulled the towel off Jared and looked down at his impressive cock. 

    "Jensen we don't have to do anything you don't want to. I swear we can wait, we can just talk and cuddle." Jared made sure Jensen knew he had an out.

    But Jensen didn't want an out. He had a lot of time the past week to really think. And as scared as he was about letting Jared in, he knew this was the right thing to do. He wanted this, wanted Jared so bad he couldn't wait another minute before dropping to his knees. 

    Jensen took Jared's dick in his hand and began stroking it as he looked up at Jared and licked his lips. He thought about this so often, about how he would start slow, tiny kitten licks.

    But fuck slow! They would have time for slow in the future. He needed to get Jared's dick in his mouth. Jensen hadn't had his mouth on another man in so long, he was hoping he hadn’t forgotten  how to do this. He opened his mouth and let Jared's cock slide inside.

     They both talked about this enough during their phone sex sessions that he wasn't surprised when Jared put both hands on Jensen's head. He looked up at Jared and winked, the other man took that as the sign to go for it. Jared began to fuck Jensen's mouth.

     God it was better than he thought. Jared held Jensen' head as he started out a slow rhythm. Jensen put his hands on Jared's perky ass and forced the man to go deeper. Jared got the message and began brutally fucking Jensen's throat. He stopped at one point and pushed Jensen even further, holding his head right there. 

    Jensen's vision was getting spotty, he couldn't breathe. He was loving every single second of Jared using him like this. Jensen wasn't sure if what happened to him had so thoroughly fucked him up that he liked being used, being called a slut. And doesn't that just make him even more twisted. Jensen shook those thoughts away, they didn't belong here, not with Jared.

    "Fuck baby, your lips feel amazing wrapped around my cock. God you have no idea. You're taking my big dick so good right sweetheart?"

     Jensen was so turned on. He miss Jared's deep sexy voice whispering dirty things to him. He reached down to grab his own dick, but Jared wasn't having it. "No, you keep your hands off your dick. You're mine to take care of!" God Jensen was loving Jared being so bossy. He looked up and nodded with Jared's cock still in his mouth. 

    Jared continued fucking Jensen's face, "That's it baby. Come on Jen, I'm so close. Fuck yea baby that's it.”

    Jensen felt empowered as Jared began to cum down his throat. He did that, he was so good for Jared that he made him cum. Jared pulled out once he came down from his orgasm. Jensen looked up at him as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

    "Damn Jen you are so fucking gorgeous like that. You did so good. Now it's my turn, get on the bed."

    Jensen scrambled to his feet, he took off his pajama pants but left on his shirt. Jared didn't need to see those marks yet. He then laid back on his bed. 

    "Turn around for me sweetheart, get on your hands and knees. I'm gonna see how good that pretty little hole of yours tastes." Jared said as he licked his lips. Jensen turned around so fast he almost fell off the bed. He felt Jared's huge hands grip his ass and pull his cheeks apart.

      "I wish you could see yourself right now baby, ass all up in the air waiting for me to eat you out. Can't wait to see if you really do taste like coffee." Jensen didn't even get a chance to process a response before he felt Jared's tongue licking across a place he never thought someone would lick. 

   A few minutes, hours, days passed, Jensen lost track of how long Jared was eating him out. "Oh my god Jay, fuck! Nobody has ever done this before. Jesus christ this feels so good." Jared was working his tongue in and out of Jensen's asshole, shoving it in as deep as it would go. Suddenly Jensen felt Jared pull away but in an instant he felt two fingers slide inside. He was so wet from Jared eating his ass that he didn't even need any lube.

     "Do you have any idea how bad I wanted to get my tongue and my fingers inside you?" Jensen assumed it was just as badly as he wanted it as well. "Almost as bad as I want to get my big cock inside you. But not today baby, no. Tonight I'm gonna make you cum just from my fingers inside you, pushing in against your prostate, which is right...about...here." Jensen threw his head back as his orgasm crashed over him. 

    He's never cum before without a hand on his dick. Not even with his favorite dildo shoved so far up his ass he could taste it. Jared was like a magician. He didn't even realize he had collapsed until he felt Jared roll him over so he could clean him off. Once he was cleaned, Jared crawled in to bed and pulled him in to his chest as he wrapped his arms around him. 

    "That was hands down better than anything I could have ever imagined. You were perfect baby, thank you for trusting me to be with you like that. I know that was a huge step for you." Jared kissed his head.

    Jensen still was a bit taken back at his own actions, he really didn't plan for it to happen. He blamed it on all their previous conversations and the fact that he was craving the man behind him so much he just couldn't wait.

    "No Jared, thank you. I don't know how you're doing it but you make me braver than I've been in the last 10 years. You gave me something I never thought I would have." Jensen was trying so hard not to cry, but his emotions were all over the place after tonight's events.

    "Shhh baby don't cry. I don't like to see my boyfriend cry." Another kiss to the back of his head.

     Jensen wiggled his way out of Jared's grasp and turned to look at him. "Your boyfriend?" Jensen questioned.

    "Well I was hoping you would be. I really want you to be my boyfriend and I know the last time I asked didn't turn out so well but I was hoping this time would be different?"

     Jensen leaned forward and put his lips to Jared. Just now realizing that after everything they did tonight, this was their first kiss. Jensen deepened the kiss, licking his way inside Jared's mouth. He pulled back and placed a few more pecks to Jared's lips. 

"Yes Jay, of course I'll be your boyfriend." Jensen said with a smile as he turned back over and let Jared wrap him up in his arms again. They both fell asleep sated, content, and in an official relationship.

    Boyfriends. Jared was his boyfriend. He really liked the sound of that. 


	12. Chapter 12

     Jensen felt arms wrapped tightly around him. He was suddenly back in that basement being held down. He could feel their kicks, hear their hateful words, smell their beer soaked breath. He started to fight back, something he didn't do that night. He was thrashing around trying to get out of the arms that were holding him.

    He could hear a voice quietly whispering to him, he didn't care what they were saying. He needed to get away. He couldn't do this again. 

    Jared woke up to the sounds of his boyfriend whimpering. The whimpers quickly turned to screams as Jared had tried to tighten his grip on Jensen hoping that it would add comfort to the sleeping man. He obviously made a very big mistake.

    The next thing he knew Jensen was punching and kicking trying to get out of his grasp. He started screaming and crying, even after Jared let go. He had no idea what he had done but he knew he had to wake up his boyfriend. 

    "Jen? Baby? It's ok, it's just me. I'm here and you're ok. Come on my love, wake up." Jared was afraid to touch him so he kept his distance and kept talking, hoping the sound of his voice would calm Jensen. He shuffled a little closer when he saw that Jensen was beginning to wake up.

     He kind of wished Jensen would have warned him he had night terrors. His littler sister used to get them when she was a kid. He would have been better prepared if he knew Jensen suffered from them as well. 

    Jensen opened his eyes and immediately froze. He went to bed wrapped in Jared's arms, and he no longer felt them. He jumped up and knocked right in to Jared. He was still here, he didn't leave him.

    He looked over at Jared who had a pretty terrified look on his face. Jared looked like he was scared of Jensen. His dreams came rushing back to him, the feeling of being held down, fighting back. Fuck! 

     Jared could tell the moment Jensen realized what had happened. He also felt horrible for putting that hurt look on Jensen's face. He tentatively lifted his hand, inching closer to Jensen. When he didn't pull away, Jared cupped his face with one hand. "Whatever you're thinking, don't. We are fine. We are better than fine. You can't control what happens while you're sleeping so don't even think about apologizing."

    Jared hoped he didn't come off too harsh but he didn't want his boyfriend to be concerned about Jared running scared because of a bad dream. And ok that reaction was totally more than just a bad dream but still. As long as Jensen knew he wasn't going anywhere, that's all that mattered. 

    "I know you don't want me to apologize Jay but I have to. At least for not warning you ahead of time about the possibility of that happening. But after everything last night I just was so distracted and happy I forgot. So please, for that, accept my deepest apology."

    Jensen felt the tears welling up in his eyes. If he did anything to screw up his first relationship in so damn long this soon, he was going to break. Jared still had his hand on Jensen's face stroking his thumb back and forth on his chin. He was taking this as a good sign. 

    Jared inched closer to his boyfriend, he brought his other hand up to cup Jensen's face. "Baby listen to me. And really really listen. I know that this isn't going to be easy, especially for you. I know there are still things you need to tell me, and I'll be here to listen when you're ready to tell me. But please don't think I'm going to run at the first little bump in the road. You gotta give me a little more credit than that."

    Again Jared hoped his words weren't too harsh but he needed to make Jensen understand. "I know we both are coming in to this relationship with baggage. I mean, mine's pretty straight forward. I've been in one serious relationship. We dated for 2 years before I found out that he was cheating on me pretty much for the entire length of our relationship." Jared explained, still embarrassed that he was too stupid to catch on that Milo was pretty much fucking anything with legs. 

    Jensen just sat there and listened to his boyfriend divulge information about his past. He could see how hard it was for Jared to talk about. He raised his hands and placed them over Jared's which were still firmly holding his face.

   "Thank you for telling me that Jared. I never experienced being cheated on, but I could imagine how badly that must have hurt you. And I swear to you, you don't have to worry about that with me. I mean obviously, look  at my life. I'm obviously not going out and meeting new people." Jensen tried to make light of everything. 

    Jared smiled, "I know Jen. I trust you as much as I can right now. I'm sure as time passes I'll learn to trust you wholeheartedly. Same way you'll learn to trust me. You think that you're the only damaged person in this relationship, but you're not. And I don't mean to say that to try and make you feel bad, I just want you to know that I'm gonna make mistakes. This is kind of new to me as well."

    He really hoped he wasn't causing further damage by saying that but it's the truth. "And I know that whatever happened to you was horrific enough that it was the catalyst for you becoming how you are now but I will never ever hold it against you. I'm here for the good, the bad and the ugly." Jared leaned in and placed a kiss on Jensen's forehead. 

    Jensen couldn't believe how brutally honest Jared was being. He also couldn't believe how insensitive he's been. Jared was right, even if Jensen didn't know the details about Jared's past, he had known that Jared only had one other relationship and it hadn't ended well.

     He's gotten so used to everyone treating him with kid gloves because he was so utterly broken, he forgot that other people were hurting as well. His thoughts went to his friends, how many times over the years have they been hurt or upset and never told him because he was so caught up in his own problems. Jensen vowed then and there he was going to do better. He was going to be there for other people, starting with Jared. 

    Jensen practically threw himself in Jared's lap and wrapped himself around his boyfriend. "God Jay I am so sorry. You're right. I have been so caught up in what happened to me, so focused on keeping myself locked away, that I forget there's an entire world out there with people who have their own problems."

     Jared wrapped his own arms around Jensen. "Hey no Jensen I didn't say that to make you feel bad I swear. I just wanted you to know my sad little story." Jared gave a half hearted smile. 

    Jensen looked up at his boyfriend. "Jared? I think I want to tell you what happened to me. If you're ready to hear it?" Jensen asked so quietly Jared barely heard him, despite Jensen being right there. For someone who was 6'1 he could really make himself so small and invisible. I guess with this many years of practice Jensen was an expert at staying hidden. 

    Jared hadn't really expected Jensen to want to share what happened to him, that wasn't why he told him about Milo. But he was grateful nonetheless that his boyfriend was willing to share what was undoubtedly the most horrible thing that ever happened to him. "Of course my love, I want to hear whatever you're willing to tell me." Jared leaned in and kissed Jensen's full pink lips. 

      "Can we maybe lay down, I'd rather do this without looking at you. And despite what happened this morning, I really do feel safe in your arms."

    Jared nodded as Jensen climbed out of his lap. They positioned themselves back to how they slept the night before, Jensen with his back to Jared's chest, and Jared's arms wrapped around him.

    "Once I start, please don't stop me, I just want to try and get this all out."

    Jensen felt Jared nod, "Of course baby, anything you want." Jared nuzzled into Jensen's neck and prepared himself. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!!!!WARNING!!!!!!!!  
>  VERY GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF VIOLENCE AND TORTURE!!!!!!  
> AND DRUG USE!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**TEN YEARS EARLIER**

 

     It was their last college party before graduation. Jensen really didn't want to go, he wasn't big on parties. Or people for that matter. But his boyfriend really wanted to go. Matt practically begged him. He knew his boyfriend had put up with a lot when it came to dating him. Between his anxiety and being a painfully shy introvert. But Jensen figured he could do this for his boyfriend.

   He made sure he took his anti-anxiety medication before he left. And Matt did only promise he would stay for an hour at most, unless Jensen decided he wanted to stay longer. It was only a frat party, he could do this!

   He checked himself in his dorm room mirror, he was dressed in his favorite pair of denim jeans and his olive green henley that Matt said brought out the green in his eyes.

     He glanced over to Chris's side of the room and saw some bracelets laying on his dresser. He figured Chris wouldn't mind him borrowing them. He was glad he had something of his best friend on his wrist, it kind of grounded him. Too bad Chris was gone for the weekend, he went off to visit some girl he met who went to school in Long Island. He would feel a lot better if Chris had been going to this party too. Jensen sighed, at least he had Matt. 

    He heard a knock at the door, he walked over and looked through the peephole to see his boyfriend. Jensen opened the door and took in how hot his boyfriend looked. He was wearing dark blue jeans and a t-shirt that was just on the right side of too tight. He wished they could just stay here so Jensen could strip him out of those clothes and let Matt do what he wanted to him.

    Matt laughed, "I love how I know what you're thinking just by the way you look at me J. No we can't stay here and have sex.' Jensen pouted, he couldn't understand why not, it would be way more fun than a stupid frat party.

   "I'll never understand how my shy, sweet, boyfriend is such a horny little slut when it comes to sex." Matt said as he wrapped his arms around Jensen's waist and placed a kiss on his lips.

    "Just one of the many reasons why you love me." Jensen smiled sweetly as he began to kiss down Matt's neck.

    "I know what you're doing and it's not going to work. We're going to that party J, we can have sex after. Consider it your reward for doing this for me."

    Jensen rolled his eyes, "Ugh fine let's get this over with."

    Matt shook his head as he took Jensen's hand in his, "Relax, it's just a party. It's not like I'm leading you to your execution." 

    Jensen laughed. If he only knew then how wrong Matt was.

    They walked in to the frat house, the music was blasting so loud Jensen could barely hear himself think. The house was full of people, they could barely squeeze by to make their way to the kitchen where the keg and the rest of the liquor was.

     One of Matt's friends, James, who was in the fraternity that was throwing the party was pouring shots. "Wow can't believe you actually convinced your girlfriend to come to a party!"

    Jensen heard James scream over the music as he handed them both shot glasses filled with tequila. Jensen wouldn't look the man in the eye as he took the drink and ignored the little dig at his expense.

    "Seriously dude shut the fuck up." Matt yelled back as he pounded back the shot and picked up another one that was already waiting in front of him.

    'Guess it's gonna be one of those nights' Jensen thought. He wasn't a big drinker, Matt on the other hand liked to really let loose when he came to parties like this. Jensen was never there to watch him get drunk, but he would have to deal with a very drunken boyfriend banging on his dorm room door looking to fuck Jensen in to the mattress. 

    "Ah Jenny knows I'm just fucking with him, right Jenny?"

     God Jensen hated that nickname, "Uh, yea. It..it's fine." Jensen looked away, already wanting to run for the door.

     James offered him and Matt another shot, "Lighten up guys it's a party! Let's get wasted!" Matt was laughing right along with James, obviously on board with the idea.

    "Come on J, he's right!" Jensen gave a tight smile to his boyfriend as he took the shot in his hand.

     "There ya go princess! Go mingle, have some fun!" James yelled. Jensen couldn't wait to graduate so he wouldn't have to be around morons like James ever again. 

    Matt took another quick shot, grabbed a beer and dragged Jensen in to another room. "Come on J let's dance, show everyone how hot you are when you move that body of yours." Matt was already slightly slurring his words.

    Matt pushed them in to a corner of the room they were in and started grinding on Jensen, running his hands all over his body. Jensen felt his chest tighten, he was getting dizzy.

    This was too much. There were far too many people around, Matt was touching him in ways he shouldn't be in public. Jensen hated PDA, it caused him to instantly panic. Matt knew this, obviously the alcohol had hit him because he didn't seem to care that Jensen was panicking. 

     "Matt..please. Please stop" Jensen begged as he pushed Matt off of him. Jensen was having a hard time catching his breath. The medication he took before he left should have helped him by now. He reached in to his pocket and pulled out his emergency anxiety pill and dry swallowed it. He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes, waiting for it to kick in. Matt took this an invitation to get back up in his space and start kissing him all over his face and neck.

     "Sto...stop. Matt. Com...come on." Jensen was feeling funny. His words were coming out slower than normal. 'I guess 2 shots of tequila and 2 anxiety pills weren't a good idea' he thought to himself.

    Matt was not listening at all. Jensen needed to get out of there. "Matt I ...I wan..want to leave. Feel...feel funny."

   Matt licked Jensen's ear and whispered, "Relax babe, whatever James put it our drinks is hitting you. Just let it take over. Let it run through you."

    Jensen froze, who knows what that asshole slipped them, all he knew was that it probably wouldn't react well with his anxiety meds. 

    "I got...gotta go. My meds. I..I can't...can't mix drugs!" Jensen pushed Matt off him as hard as he could.

    His boyfriend stumbled back. "Fine go home you little bitch, I'll just have to find someone else to have a little fun with. Not gonna let you ruin my high."

    Jensen couldn't believe that his boyfriend didn't care that he was having a bad reaction to the mix of drugs and alcohol. Jensen made his way to the front door, walking at a snails pace without even realizing it. He just needed to get home. 

    Jensen stumbled past the row of other frat houses, trying to make his way to the other side of campus where the dorms were. He suddenly heard footsteps behind him, he stopped and turned around, assuming Matt sobered up enough to come after him. 'It's not Matt' was the last thought he had before he saw nothing but darkness. 

    Jensen woke up slowly, he blinked open his eyes. He went to move but quickly realized he was tied to a chair. He also was very aware of the fact he was stripped down to his boxers. He looked around the room, not recognizing where he was.

   Pain shot up his entire body. He had no idea what happened to him while he was passed out but he was in so much pain. He felt something wet dripping down his face, he could only assume it was his own blood. 

   He heard footsteps coming down the steps on the other side of the room. The figures stepped closer, 4 guys wearing goalie masks stood before him.

    "Ah the freak's awake!" the smallest of the group stated. "Didn't think you would wake up so soon, we were gonna have a little more fun before you woke up but now you can watch us!" another one of the men laughed.

    "Plea...please. Let me...go." Jensen was still speaking so slowly, his thoughts were all over the place. The drugs obviously having a terrible effect on him. 

     "Aww little fag wants us to let him go. We aren''t anywhere near done with you pretty boy!" the largest of the group said as he pulled out a knife. Jensen started to scream and try to get himself loose from the restraints but he was so weak from the drugs he could barely move.

    The man with the knife punched him in the face, "Shut up you fucking fag!" He took the knife and started cutting in to Jensen's thigh. Jensen screamed even louder. 

    Another one came over and pulled a ball gag out of a bag that was on the floor. He placed it in Jensen's mouth. "See I knew this shit would come in handy. Knew he would be loud little slut!" the man spat on him. The 3rd man came over with a lit cigarette and put it out on his chest. He pulled out a lighter, lit it again, and put it back to Jensen's chest. Lather rinse repeat. He lost count of how many times he was burned. 

     The 4th man walked over and kicked Jensen right in the stomach, kicked him so hard the chair tipped back. They all laughed as Jensen laid tied to the chair on the floor, tears streaming down his face. They all began kicking him. The sound of his ribs cracking was the last thing he remembered before he passed out again. 

     Jensen had no idea how long he had been passed out, he knew it had to be hours because he could see the sun peeking in through a tiny window in the room he was in. He was still tied to the chair, at least they put him right side up, he thought. Jensen was in so much pain, he couldn't open his left eye.

     He was covered in blood, cuts, burns, and bruises. His chest began to get tight, he couldn't breathe. They had left the ball gag in his mouth. He couldn't breathe, couldn't scream. Jensen knew nobody could hear him. Nobody was going to find him. He was going to die, nearly naked and tied to a chair. The pain, fear, and anxiety was so much, he was glad when the vision in his good eye went spotty and he passed out once again. He welcomed the escape. 

   

    

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read the rest of the chapters before today (April 24th 2018) there was a minor change in chapter 11.  
> Jensen keeps his shirt on while him and Jared fuck around. The burn marks on his chest were thought of after I had already put that chapter out. Not a major change but I just don't like inconsistencies lol Jensen wouldn't want Jared to see those burns at that point!

   "I woke up in the hospital. They told me I was in the basement of an abandoned dorm that was set to be knocked down. One of the crew set to help with the demolition found me."

    Jensen took a deep breath. "I was down there for 3 days. I had a busted eye, a broken wrist, 4 broken ribs, countless burns and cuts. I had a concussion and my entire body was one giant bruise. I was also severely dehydrated." Jensen could hear Jared crying behind him. He put his hands over Jared's that were currently wrapped around his body. 

    "I was in the hospital for 3 weeks. Matt never came to see me once. I guess after he found out what happened he felt too guilty? I don't even know, we never saw each other or spoke after the night I left the party." Jensen shrugged, he's long since accepted his ex never really cared about him.

    "I missed my college graduation because I was in the hospital. When I was finally ready to be discharged I freaked about getting on a plane to go home with my parents." Jensen shook his head, "I couldn't be in an airport, with all those people. I was so scared that those guys would find me." 

     "Did they ever find them?" Jared asked quietly.

    "No. No they're still out there. I had no real information to give the cops. I was so messed up from the drugs and they had on masks, That's the main reason I don't leave my house Jared. They are still out there. I could pass them on the street and wouldn't even know if it were them." Jensen began to cry.

   That was his ultimate fear, going in to a store or restaurant, one of those men helping him, and he wouldn't even know if they were one of the men that brutalized him that night.

       Jared held him even tighter as he cried. They laid there together until Jensen eventually fell asleep. Retelling the most horrific experience of his life was pretty draining. He woke up a little while later with Jared still tightly wrapped around him.

    Talking about what happened brought all of his fears and anxiety to the surface. And as scared as he was about where things were gonna go with Jared, he was really happy to have someone who seemed to genuinely care about him. 

      "Mmm you awake?" Jared asked sleepily.

   Jensen shifted so he could turn and look at his boyfriend. Jensen looked up in to those cat like hazel eyes and smiled. He felt like a small weight was lifted now that Jared knew everything. He knew all about it and he was still there, smiling right back at Jensen.

   Jared leaned in and kissed his boyfriend on his forehead. Kissed him on his eyelids, his nose, his cheeks. With each little peck Jensen felt like his heart was going to burst. 

   "There is so much I want to say to you right now. Baby I am so sorry for what happened to you. I know you don't need my sympathy but you have it. You are also the most incredibly brave man I have ever met."

    Jensen laughed bitterly, "Brave Jared? I couldn't even fight back! I couldn't protect myself. I am not brave, I'm broken."

    Jared grabbed his boyfriends face with both hands, "I don't care if you think you're broken Jensen. I swear on my life I am going to help put you back together, piece by piece. I'll be here as long as it takes until you truly feel whole again."

    Jared leaned in and kissed Jensen. He opened his mouth to let Jared lick inside. Jared deepened the kiss, cupping Jensen's face with both of his hands. 

    Jensen pulled back from the kiss, "Jay I know we just had the most emotional talk we've had in our very short relationship but I really need to feel you. I just, I need to feel alive. I need to feel something besides what I'm feeling right now. Can you do that for me? Can you make me feel good?" Jensen knew this was a huge step for him and he felt kind of guilty for asking this of Jared but he needed to replace the bad thoughts in his head with something better. 

    "Baby are you sure you want this? I mean I kind of think maybe our first time shouldn't be after you just bared your soul. But if you think it would help, I'll do anything you want. Anything Jen. No matter what you decide baby, I am proud of you for putting yourself out there for me." Jared knew how much courage it must have taken Jensen to ask Jared to make love to him. 

     Jensen knew that even if their first time was after the most intense talk they've ever had, it would still be perfect. How could it be anything less than perfect when Jared was involved. Logic wasn't really winning out over the need for life affirming sex with his incredibly sweet and sexy boyfriend.

   He pushed Jared until he was laying flat on his back and climbed on top of him until he was straddling the other man. He figured words weren't necessary, he would show Jared just how sure he was with his actions. 

    He leaned down and started to kiss and lick down Jared's neck. He so badly wanted to suck a hickey in to his boyfriends neck to mark him as his, but he knew Jared would have to cover it up with makeup for work. He worked his way down Jared's chest, peppering kisses all over the tanned skin. He made his way over to one of Jared's nipples, sucked the small nub in his mouth before gently biting on it. Jensen used his other hand to tweak Jared's other nipple. The man under him started moaning at Jensen's ministrations. 

     Jensen abandoned Jared's nipples and continued to kiss and lick down Jared's body. He was still naked from the night before. Jensen started mouthing at his boyfriends hip bone. This was always the sexiest part of a man in Jensen's eyes. As he bit and licked Jared, he moved one of his hands down a little further until he got a firm hold on Jared's erection. He started slowly moving his hand up and down, mouthing across Jared's happy trail to the neglected hip bone on the other side. 

    He finally made his way down with his mouth to Jared's cock. He licked at the head, swirling his tongue around it. He licked down the entire length, impressed at himself for what happened last night. Jared was huge and Jensen managed to fit it all down his throat. Jensen was getting hard just thinking about having a repeat performance.

    But he didn't want to make Jared cum like that, he wanted Jared inside him. So he made quick work of swallowing Jared down.   

   "Fuck baby you're mouth, it's so warm and wet." Jared moaned while moving his hand to the back of Jensen's head. He didn't push down, just left it gently resting there. Jensen hollowed his cheeks and worked Jared's dick in and out of his mouth, using his hand to jerk him off at the same time.

      After a few minutes Jensen let Jared fall from his mouth. He climbed across the bed and reached in to his bedside drawer and grabbed his strawberry lube. He froze at the realization that he didn't have any condoms. He didn't think he would ever need them. "Umm please tell me you have a condom in your pocket? I have't had reason to buy them in a while" 

      "I have one in my wallet, but uhh, I'm clean if you want to go without? Either way is fine with me. Just wanna be in you babe"

   Jensen had never slept with anyone without one, he knew he was also clean. And the idea of nothing but Jared inside him, he was totally ok with that. Jensen bit his lip and nodded. He went back to straddle Jared, He lubed up two of his own fingers and began tracing his rim.

   "Fuck baby are you gonna finger yourself open? That's so hot, fuck!" Jensen shoved two fingers inside of himself, still a little loose from Jared's fingering the night before. He worked his fingers in and out, not trying to touch his prostate, he wanted to leave that to Jared when he fucked him. Jared laid back and began to stroke his own cock so slowly, enjoying the show Jensen was putting on.

    "God babe my fingers feel so good, but your cock is going to feel so much better." He pulled out both fingers and shoved 3 back in. When he felt he was open enough he grabbed Jared's dick, lined it up and slowly sank down on it.

   "Yea sweetheart that's it. Fuck Jensen, ride me." Jensen didn't need to be told twice. He began to lift up and slam himself back down on to his boyfriends huge cock. Jared bent his knees and put his hands on Jensen's waist and started to slam up into Jensen every time he slammed down. 

    Jensen slowed things down, he began to make a figure 8 motion with his body. He leaned forward and started to kiss his boyfriend. Without warning Jared flipped them over, while still managing to keep himself inside Jensen.

   Jared started to pound in to him, with each thrust Jensen's head started to lightly bang on the headboard. Jared stilled and they both started to laugh. Jared grabbed a pillow and put it behind Jensen's head, "Thank you, I'm good. Come on babe keep going."

    Jared smirked, "You asked for it, hold on!"

    Jensen reached behind his head and grabbed the headboard with both hands while Jared started to fuck him even harder than before. "Fuck, fuck right there Jay. Yea baby that's it. Uh ..uh.. uh..fuck! " Jared was hitting his prostate on almost every thrust. Jensen had never been so full in his life. Jared's cock was really a thing of beauty, it put his favorite dildo to shame.

    "You like that sweetheart? Yea I bet it feels so good having my cock fuck in to your tight little hole like this! Think you can handle it harder?"

   Jensen didn't think it was physically possible for Jared to fuck him any harder, boy was he wrong. "Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. Jesus mother fucking Christ Jared" Jensen was practically screaming. Never in his life had he felt this good during sex. He was ready to start worshiping at the altar of Jared Padalecki and his cock. 

      "I'm close baby, gonna fill you up. Mark you up on the inside. You want that sweetheart?" Jared asked as he began to stroke Jensen's dick.

   "Yes fuck yes Jay, I'm gonna cum, fuck."

   Jared began to stroke his cock faster, "That's it baby, cum for me!"

    That's all Jensen needed to hear as he shot his load all over Jared's hand. He felt Jared jerk and was suddenly filled with warm cum. 

     Jared bent down to kiss Jensen. "My god baby that was incredible." Jared slowly pulled out of Jensen and crawled down until he was in between Jensen's legs."Look how pretty your hole is leaking my cum."

   Without warning Jared leaned in and began to lick his cum out of Jensen's thoroughly abused hole. Feeling Jared's tongue swirl around the rim was probably one of the most incredible things he's ever felt. It was so hot and dirty, Jared licking his own cum out of Jensen's ass. God how was this man even real?

     Jared looked up and saw that Jensen was hard again, he reached up and started to jerk Jensen off. "You think you can cum again baby?" Jensen wasn't young by any means, he normally needed way more recovery time to get hard again but Jared was just so stupidly hot that his dick was totally on board with round 2.

   "Fuck Jay yea, work my cock, yea baby just like that.. God!" Jared went back to eating him out as he jerked him off. Jensen's second orgasm was even more intense then the first, He didn't even have a chance to warn Jared before he was screaming his name with his release.

       Once Jared stroked him through his orgasm he crawled back up the bed. "I'm not sure what your rule is for kissing after what I just did, but I can go brush my teeth if you want?" Jared asked shyly. After the filthy act he just performed 

   Jensen couldn't help but laugh. He pulled Jared in to him and kissed him, licking all over his lips. "Mmm I don't mind." Jared beamed at him.

    "That was hands down the best sex I've ever had." Jensen admitted. Not that he really had much experience. "Was I ok?" He knew Jared had slept with so many people, he hoped he didn't disappoint him.

   Jared looked stunned, "Are you kidding? That was...my god Jensen there are no words to adequately describe how fucking incredible that was. Cross my heart, you were perfect." Jensen let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you Jensen, for telling me what you told me, for giving yourself to me so completely. It means more than you know."

   Jensen couldn't believe how lucky he was, he just had the most mind blowing sex and his boyfriend was sitting here thanking him. 

    All of a sudden the sounds of Jared's stomach echoed in the room. "Oh wow that's embarrassing. I actually haven't umm eaten since before work yesterday."

   Jensen sat up, "Yea I think I worked up an appetite. What do you say I make us pancakes?"

  Jared smiled, "Throw in some chocolate chips and I'm in!"

   Jensen laughed, "You got yourself a deal babe!" Jensen couldn't remember the last time he was this happy. He just hoped it would last. 

    


	15. Chapter 15

    Jensen walked out of his bedroom hand in hand with Jared and suddenly stopped short. Danneel was sitting on the couch with a pretty unhappy look on her face. He totally forgot she was set to come back last night.

   "I can tell by your faces that you forgot I was coming back last night. I could also tell by the insanely loud and pretty fucking kinky sex you two just had that you forgot." Danneel winked at Jared, "Way to go tiger, I didn't know you had that in you Jensen!" Jensen groaned, he was mortified. 

     "Can we please go back in my room and pretend this didn't happen?" Jensen buried his face in to his boyfriends chest.

   "'Afraid not gorgeous, come on it's no big deal. I'm not ashamed that we just had mind blowing sex." Jared laughed, clearly not embarrassed.

   "Jensen stop being a drama queen and go make us breakfast, I'm starving!" Jensen flipped her off and made his way in to the kitchen to start breakfast. 

    Jared went and sat down next to Danneel, she was looking at him like she had a million questions running through her head. "I can hear the wheels turning, go ahead, ask me whatever it is you want to ask me." Dani smiled, she knew she liked this guy.

  "Well I obviously know you had sex and that it was amazing if the sounds I heard were anything to go by. Was he ok last night? Anything out of the ordinary happen?" Jared knew what she was getting at, she wanted to know about the night terrors. 

    "Well considering I don't really know what Jensen's ordinary is, umm he kind of freaked this morning when he realized I had my arms around him. Pretty sure he had a night terror. Which lead to him telling me what happened to him."

   Danneel was shocked, she really didn't think Jensen was anywhere near ready to tell Jared about what happened in the past. She was so proud of her best friend for trusting someone enough to let them in. She knew how hard it was for Jensen to trust anybody after what happened, and after Matt abandoned him when he needed him the most. 

    "Uhh yea one of us probably should have warned you about that. That's why I sleep out here when I stay over for the most part, I'll stay with him until he falls asleep and then I'll come out here. I got a nice right hook to the face once and Jensen didn't talk to me for two weeks because he felt so bad."

  At least Jared felt a bit less guilty, it wasn't only him holding Jensen that could cause a reaction like the one this morning.

  "Did Jensen tell you the entire story, like all the gritty details? Do you know about the marks?"

     "Umm yea he told me about them but I haven't seen them yet. He kept his shirt on all night, even when we were, ya know. Which I totally understand, I know it was a huge step just telling me about them. If he's not comfortable enough to show me them I totally respect that. I just hope he knows that seeing them won't change a single thing between us, it won't change how much I care about him."

    Dani coughed and nudged her head for Jared to look behind him. He could only assume when he turned around Jensen would be standing there. Jared didn't hesitate, he got up off the couch, turned around and walked over to his boyfriend who had tears running down his face. Jared immediately wrapped his arms around Jensen.

   "I don't deserve you Jay. You're so kind and patient with me. So understanding. Are you even real? I feel like I dreamed you up."

    Jared held his crying boyfriend tighter. "Hey shhh come on love, don't cry. And if anyone was dreamed up it was you. You are so beautiful Jensen, inside and out. You have been through something most people couldn't even fathom. And I know it's taken you a long time to get to the point you're at today, and I am so proud of you for the progress you've made, especially with me. I know you're probably embarrassed or ashamed of the scars on your body, and I am really ok if you want to keep them hidden. I swear! But I will never ever judge you for them. Your scars are like tiny badges of courage, they show me that you are a survivor. And I would rather you be here, with me, covered in marks, then not here at all. Because I'll be honest baby if that had happened to me I'm not sure I would still be here. You're so brave Jen." 

    If Jared's goal was to make Jensen stop crying it absolutely failed. Jensen just buried his head in to his boyfriends chest as Jared ran his arms up and down his back. They heard a throat clear from the couch, once again forgetting Dani was there.

  "You guys are too precious, but I'm gonna go. I think you need to spend some more time together. Jensen will you be ok if I go?"

   He nodded, but Jared answered before he could say anything, "I'm gonna stay with him today, if that's ok with him. I think I'm gonna call out from the club tonight, after yesterday I could use a night off." 

    Jensen pulled his head off of Jared's chest and looked up and gave a watery smile, "I would love it if you could stay here today. Maybe even sleep over again?"

   Jared brought a hand to run through Jensen's hair, "I would love nothing more baby." Jared placed a soft kiss on the top of Jensen's head just as his stomach rumbled.

   "Crap the pancakes that's what I was coming back in here for, to tell you they were ready. Dani stay and eat then you can head out if you want" Jensen went to wipe his tears but Jared caught his hand and used his own thumbs to wipe away Jensen's tears. 

    "Seriously you guys are so sweet I'm gonna get a toothache. But yea I'll totally stay for pancakes, I'm starving." They all headed in to the kitchen, Jensen served them all a stack of chocolate chip pancakes.

  "Mmm these are amazing!" Jared mumbled in between chewing.

  "Jensen is a fantastic cook, and an even better baker." Dani offered. "I had to learn, I don't like ordering take out if nobody is here to answer the door, and I don't go out so." Jensen shrugged one shoulder, looking away.

    Jared put his hand on Jensen's knee, "Stop baby, you have nothing to be ashamed of. And if your pancakes are anything to go by I'm gonna be here every day demanding you cook for me!"

   Jensen laughed as he leaned in to wipe a chocolate chip off of Jared's face. "I would love to cook for you as often as you'd like Jay. You're gonna have to give me some of your favorite dishes so I can have Chris get the ingredients when he gets back."

     Jared knew all about Chris and Steve and how they normally bring Jensen his groceries every week. He also knew that the men were in a band and were currently on tour. He was looking forward to meeting them, maybe even getting to hear them play when they got back. He really hoped Jensen's friends liked him, he knew Jensen thought the world of them and he was sure their opinion on him and their relationship was important. "Yea Jen I would really like that" he smiled, Jared couldn't remember the last time he was this happy. He just hoped it would last. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i decided to split this chapter in half. It was getting a bit long and also I just wanted to make sure I had an update ready for today. The next chapter should be up either tonight or tomorrow! Enjoy <3

    

      One month. He and Jared have officially been boyfriends for one month. And it had been the best month of his entire life. Jared had started to come over fairly often. If he was set to work at Get Punished he would come over for brunch and they would spend as much time as they could wrapped around each other, laughing, talking, and just getting to know each other better. On the days that Jared was delivering he would stop by for a few stolen moments in between deliveries if he found himself in Jensen's neighborhood. 

     But today was their official one month anniversary and Jared had taken the entire day off to spend it with Jensen. Jared had worked at the club last night and Jensen had asked Jared to come over as soon as he was done but Jared didn't want to wake Jensen up at 4am. So he decided he would go home and come over as soon as soon as he woke up. 

     Danneel had come by the day before to bring over a few groceries so he could make Jared a romantic anniversary dinner. He also had a few special things planned for after dinner. He just hoped Jared would be on board with it. He was lost in his head thinking about all the things he planned on doing tonight when he heard Jared's special knock at the door. 

     When Jensen opened the door his boyfriend was standing their holding a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers. Jensen was pretty sure he had mentioned at some point his favorite flowers were lillies but he was still so touched that his boyfriend bought him flowers.

    "I know these aren't your favorite but I wanted to give my sunshine, sunflowers." Jared explained as he leaned in and brushed his lips softly against Jensen's. He could feel his face heat up, and the butterflies in his stomach flutter. Jensen was seriously the luckiest guy on the planet.

    He had figured that once they became official Jared would cut back on the pet names and the cute romantic gestures. Instead he stepped up his game even further. Jared would show up in between deliveries with Starbucks on days that Jensen didn't sleep much because of his night terrors. Other days he showed up with candy, or a special dessert from a bakery by Jared's apartment.

     The most romantic thing though that stuck out the most in Jensen's mind happened after an especially rough night. Jensen had probably had one of the worst night terrors he's ever had. He called Jared sobbing uncontrollably. Jared had just gotten home from working at the club, it was almost 4:30am.

   A half hour after Jensen had called him Jared was at his front door, having come all the way back to Manhattan after he had just gotten home from there. Jared had with him a Buttercream colored teddy bear and explained that Jay Bear was very lonely and needed his boyfriend Jen Bear. He stood at his front door hugging Jared, crying, until the man  scooped him up bridal style and carried him to bed. 

       Jensen hadn't even realized he had spaced out thinking of all the incredible things his boyfriend had done until said boyfriend was waving his hand in front of his face. "Sorry baby kinda got lost in my head. The flowers are beautiful thank you so much." Jensen took them and headed in to the kitchen to find a vase to put them in. 

     Jared walked behind Jensen and wrapped his arms around him while placing a kiss on his neck, "Happy one month gorgeous. It's been the best month of my life, even better than the month I got to stay home from school because I broke my arm."

   Jensen laughed, "Good to know dating me ranks above broken bones." Jensen found the vase he was looking for and put the sunflowers in it and filled it with water. 

      "Dating you ranks above pretty much anything in existence, except maybe those sour rainbow belt candy I love so much."

   Jensen pretended to be offended by his boyfriends comment. "Just for that you're not getting your special surprise tonight." He stuck out his tongue at his boyfriend for extra measure. 

    "Aww come on baby, you know I was kidding. And taking away my surprise is just mean!" 

   Jensen rolled his eyes, his boyfriend was just too damn cute. "Fine, fine you can have your surprise but you gotta kiss me first."   

     Jared grabbed Jensen by the back of his head and pulled him in. He placed a kiss on Jensen's upper lip, then one on his lower lip. He sucked Jensen's bottom lip in to his mouth, nipped at it gently. He then lifted the hand that wasn't on the back of Jensen's skull and brought it up to cup his cheek. They traded sweet little kisses until Jensen felt like his lips were swollen. And ain't that a problem he didn't mind in the slightest. 

      Jared pulled back, "Come on gorgeous I have plans for you and those lips today. Go grab your coat, we're busting out of this Popsicle stand!" 

   "Umm Jay? You do remember I'm an agoraphobic right? I mean that's not really something you forget. I can't leave the house."

   Jared placed both hands on Jensen's face, "I know baby but I thought since it was so nice out we could maybe take a walk to the corner, get some coffee at Starbucks? I mean I know you've done it a few times with Dani,Chris and Steve. I know I don't mean as much to you as them but I thought you could maybe try? I promise I will hold your hand the entire time, and we don't have to stay to drink there. We can just get them and walk right back here. Maybe sit on the front stoop?"

        Jensen felt himself panic, he started rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. Not able to catch his breath. He couldn't do it. He wanted to so badly for Jared but the fear and the panic were too overpowering. He hadn't left the house in 4 months. Not since the last time Dani, Chris, Steve, and even his therapist Misha, walked with him to the market two blocks over. 

    Jensen hadn't even realized he was crying until Jared was wiping away his tears. "Hey no baby stop, it's ok. I shouldn't have asked it was stupid. Please forgive me?" Jared pleaded. He knew this could be the outcome of his request. He hadn't meant to push Jensen for something he wasn't ready to do. Jared wrapped his boyfriend in his arms and tried to help calm him down.

   After a few minutes Jensen eventually stopped rocking, and his tears subsided. He felt so guilty that he ruined their anniversary with one of his panic attacks. He just hoped everything he had planned would make up for it. "I'm sorry Jay. I didn't mean to ruin your plans, or spend our anniversary crying on you."

    Jared leaned in and kissed his boyfriend, "Baby please, you never ever have to apologize for having a panic attack. If you're not ready then you're not ready. It's ok, I just want you to feel safe and happy."

     "You make me feel those things every single day Jay, and I could never thank you enough for that. But umm, maybe we could sit out front? On the stoop? I think I could maybe manage that for a few minutes if you want?"

     Jared's face lit up like he just got the best news ever. "God Jen I would love that. As a matter of fact I have an idea. Can you go hang out in your room for a few minutes?" Jensen wasn't sure what his boyfriend was up to but he nodded and headed in to his room. 

    Half an hour later Jared popped his head back in to Jensen's room, declaring his surprise was ready. They made their way to the front door, Jared turned around and took Jensen's hand in his own. He turned to look right in to his boyfriends beautiful green eyes. "Jensen listen to me. We are going outside, I am going to be with you the entire time. Holding on to you for dear life. If for any reason you want to come back inside, do not feel bad. Just say the word and we come back in. I will not be upset. So shake all those thoughts out of your head. You can do this, I won't let go!" 

    "Promise?"

   "Cross my heart, hope to die." Jared did just that, picked up Jensen's hand and made a cross over his heart. He then pulled Jensen's hand to his lips and kissed it. "Come on gorgeous, let's go." 

     Jared opened the door and they both stepped outside. Jensen was stock still, and for once it wasn't because of his fear. Jared had set up a picnic right there on his front stoop. He had laid out the flannel blanket Jensen had tucked away in the hall closet. On top of the blanket were two venti caramel machiattos from the Starbucks up the block, breakfast sandwiches, some cut up fruit, and one of Jensen's sunflowers in a glass. 

    "Jared. I can't believe you did all this, thank you. I don't remember the last time I had a picnic, this is incredible." Jared pulled Jensen to sit down on the blanket, not once letting go of his hand.

   "I am just so proud of you that you're out here. Jen, you're outside. With me. This is seriously the best day ever." Jared was ecstatic. He was so damn proud of his boy for having the courage and strength to face his fears and come outside. It may seem like a small step in the right direction, but to Jared it was monumental. It showed him just how much trust his boyfriend had in him, he knew he could trust Jared to keep him safe. And that was better than even sour rainbow belts!

    They sat down and Jared reached forward to grab Jensen's coffee to give it to him. Jensen laughed at his boyfriend for not letting go of his hand. "Jay I'm not expecting you to eat one handed, it's ok. As long as you stay right next to me I think I'll be fine. But I appreciate the gesture." Jensen picked up their joint hands and kissed each and every one of Jared's knuckles. 

    They ate their sandwiches and drank their coffee in companionable silence. Jensen watching the people on the street go by, weary of everyone. He was really proud of himself. It took almost 45 minutes before his bravery faltered and he asked Jared to go back inside. Jared didn't even hesitate before he walked Jensen inside and then went back out to pack up their picnic. 

     When Jared came back he found Jensen fast asleep on the couch. He smiled at how peaceful his boyfriend looked all curled in on himself. He walked over to the couch and placed the throw blanket that was on the back of it gently on his boyfriend. He grabbed the book Jensen had lying on the coffee table, he walked over to the love seat across from the couch and sat down.

     


	17. Chapter 17

      Jensen slowly opened his eyes. He hadn't even realized he had fallen asleep while he waited for Jared to come inside. Just another thing he did to screw up their anniversary he thought to himself. He sat up and realized there was an amazing smell coming from his kitchen. He got up and walked inside to find his boyfriend making the special dinner that HE had planned to make for Jared. He couldn't help the tears that began to fall.

     Jared must've heard him come in because he turned around to smile at his boyfriend but the second Jared saw Jensen's face the smile disappeared. "Baby what's wrong, why are you crying? Did you have a night terror? I didn't hear anything and I've been checking on you every couple of minutes. I'm so sorry my love." Jared pulled Jensen in to his arms which just made Jensen cry harder. He kept fucking things up and Jared just kept showing how utterly amazing he was. 

     "It's not that, I slept fine. It's just...I was supposed to be making you this romantic dinner. And then I fell asleep and here you are making it for me. I can't give you much Jared but I could have made you dinner." Jensen knew he was being a little silly but he wanted to do something special for Jared. He knew he still had Jared's gift and his surprise for him. 

    "God Jen I am so sorry I didn't even think. I just saw everything in the fridge and I didn't wanna wake you and I was hungry. Fuck I am so stupid!" Jared shook his head. He didn't even think that Jensen would be hurt by him making dinner for them. He was honestly just getting hungry and didn't want to wake his sleeping boyfriend. 

     Jensen wiped his tears, "No Jay, don't apologize I'm just being ridiculous. It smells so good, is it ready?" Jensen walked over to the cabinets where his dishes were. The least he could do was set the table. 

    "Yea baby it is. And I know you don't want me to apologize but again I am so damn sorry. I love when you cook for me baby and this would probably have come out so much better if you made it. I was just hungry." Jared shrugged, embarrassed that his appetite had caused his boyfriend to get upset. 

    "It's gonna be amazing, come on let's dish it out and eat." Jensen said as he placed the plates, and cutlery on the table. He then walked over and got two beers out of the fridge. 

     They both tried making small talk throughout the meal. Things felt a little off no matter how hard they tried to make everything go back to normal. When they both finished their meals, they put their dishes in the sink and headed in to the living room. 

     "I'm gonna go get your surprise, can you sit on the couch?" Jensen asked, hoping that this made up for everything that happened today. Jared nodded, and Jensen headed in to his room. He went in to his closet and pulled out his guitar. Over the last 10 years Chris and Steve had both given him lessons. He got pretty good at playing, and he already had a pretty decent singing voice before Steve worked with him to make it even better. 

     Jensen walked back in to the living room and took a seat next to his boyfriend who currently had his jaw dropped to the floor. "I didn't know you could play the guitar? Is there anything you can't do!?" 

    "You mean besides go out in public?" Jensen joked at his own expense. From the look on Jared's face, he didn't think it was funny. "Tough crowd. Ok so I know we don't have a song yet but I heard this and it kinda just made me think of you, of us. And well, I hope you like it."

 

 

_"The dawn is breaking_  
_A light shining through_  
_You're barely waking_  
_And I'm tangled up in you_  
_Yeah_

 

_I'm open, you're closed_  
_Where I follow, you'll go_  
_I worry I won't see your face_  
_Light up again_

 

_Even the best fall down sometimes_  
_Even the wrong words seem to rhyme_  
_Out of the doubt that fills my mind_  
_I somehow find_  
_You and I collide_

 

_I'm quiet you know_  
_You make a first impression_  
_I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind_

 

_Even the best fall down sometimes_  
_Even the stars refuse to shine_  
_Out of the back you fall in time_  
_I somehow find_  
_You and I collide"_

 

 

     When Jensen finished the song he put his guitar down and glanced over at his boyfriend. Jared had tears in his eyes. 'Great I fucked up again and made him cry' Jensen thought. Out of nowhere Jared pulled Jensen on to his lap and began to kiss him.

   "My god baby! That was so beautiful. Those words, fuck. That song is perfect for us. And you sang it way better than Howie Day. I loved it, thank you so much for that Jen. Your voice is amazing!" 

 

     Jensen breathed a sigh of releif, Jared didn't hate it. He was crying because he loved. "I still have a gift for you besides the song. I'll be right back." Jensen got up again and went in his room and pulled out the small jewelry box. He had found something special for Jared online and had it mailed to Dani's house since he couldn't answer the door if it were delivered here. He walked back in the living room and took his seat next to Jared who was also holding a similar box. 

 

    "Guess we both had the same idea. Wanna exchange them on the count of 3?" Jared asked, he looked like a kid on Christmas. Jensen nodded.

 

     "One...two....three!" They handed each other the boxes. The both opened them and gasped. They had gotten each other the same exact ring. What were the odds. Out of the millions of things they could have gotten for each other they ended up picking the same thing. 'Fate,' Jensen thought. Jared said you don't mess with fate. Inside both boxes were white gold rings with an infinity symbol etched in to it. 

 

     "I can not believe this. How in the world did we both manage to get each other the same damn thing. Holy shit Jen! Here, gimme yours so I can put it on you." 

 

     Jensen sat there stunned as Jared placed the ring on his hand. He managed to compose himself enough to do the same.

 

   "Jensen I know we've only been together for a month, and have known each other for just a bit longer than that but after this, seeing how the universe had literally thrown us together all because of a mistake, I just feel like it was meant to be. I was meant to type in the wrong number. I was meant to find you. I am so grateful that it happened and I want you to know that I love you. I love you so much! And I don't expect you to say it back, it's ok if you're not there yet. I just had to tell you. I love you. Man it feels good to say that out loud." Jared smiled so big, beautiful dimples carved in to his face. 

 

     "Jay can I show you something?" 

 

     "Of course baby, anything." 

    Jensen pulled his boyfriend off the couch and headed in to his bedroom. He pushed Jared back until he was laying on the bed. Jensen took a deep breath and took off his shirt.

   This was the first time he had taken his shirt off in front of his boyfriend. This was the last little bit of himself that he was holding back. But now knowing that Jared loved him, he knew he could show Jared the broken and burned parts of him. 

    Jared let out a small gasp, he wasn't expecting this when Jensen brought him in here. He knows how much showing the proof of the attack means to Jensen.

   He couldn't even keep count of how many burn marks and cuts covered his boyfriends beautiful body. He just wanted to grab on to his boyfriend and hold him but he knew he had to wait until Jensen's say so to touch. 

    "Besides my doctors, my parents, Dani and Chris, nobody has seen these. These disgusting marks, the proof of what those monsters did to me. I have been so fucking terrified to let anyone in. I closed the entire world out. Nothing existed outside of these walls. Until I met you. You broke down every single wall I built up around myself Jared. And I am so fucking grateful that fate put you in my life. You make me feel alive. You make me feel like I'm important, you make me feel loved and cherished. And my God Jared I love you so much I can't breathe sometimes. I am so scared that I'm gonna wake up one day and you're gonna be gone. And I honestly don't think I would survive it. So here I am, giving you every fucked up, burned and broken piece of me, begging you, please don't hurt me. Please?" 

     Jared jumped off the bed and stopped right in front of his boyfriend. "Baby I need to hug you, is that ok?" Jensen nodded and Jared immediately pulled his boyfriend in to his arms. He walked them backwards towards the bed and pulled Jensen down with him. By this point they both had tears in their eyes. Jared held on tighter to Jensen. 

    "Sweetheart I love you with every fiber of my being. I swear to you I am here, I am yours, until the day you tell me otherwise. You're it for me Jensen Ross Ackles." 

 Jared pushed Jensen until he was flat on his back. He began kissing down his boyfriends neck.

    "Can I touch your scars baby?" Jared didn't want to do anything without getting the ok from Jensen. 

  Jensen just nodded, not able to get any words out. He was still a little nervous about Jared seeing him like this. But he wanted to give himself completely to this amazing man. 

    Jared began to kiss his way down Jensen's body. He kissed every single scar, every burn. He didn't miss one. For every mark and bad memory on Jensen's body he wanted to replace that with love and gentleness. He eventually made his way down to Jensen's pants. He popped open the button and pulled down the zipper. Jensen lifted up to help Jared slide off his pants and boxer briefs.

    Jensen's cock was already hard and leaking. Jared took it in his hand and began to paint his own lips with Jensen's pre cum. He placed a kiss to the tip and began to slowly lick down the entire length from tip to base. He kissed his way up Jensen's shaft and then swallowed it down to the root. 

"Fuck Jay, your mouth feels so good on me. Love that you can take all of me. Damn!"

  Jared worked Jensen's cock in and out of his mouth, hollowing his cheeks. Jensen's hand came to rest on the back of his head, pulling on his hair just a little.

   Without warning Jared pushed Jensen's legs up and pushed him back so he had a perfect view of Jensen's pretty pink hole.  He spread Jensen's cheeks apart and dived in. He licked all around the rim, swirling his tongue all around. He slurped at Jensen's hole, licking and biting at it before finally sticking his tongue inside. He stabbed his tongue in and out of Jensen, fucking him with it. 

    "Fuck Jay. Oh my god baby your tongue feels so good in my ass. Fuck I love when you eat me out. Can't get enough of it. Want you to eat my ass for hours." 

  And damn if Jared didn't want the same thing, to just stayed buried in his boyfriends beautiful ass.

    Jared took his middle finger and started working it in next to his tongue, crooking it just right so he could hit Jensen's prostate. That's all it took before Jensen was screaming as his orgasm hit him. 

   Jared didn't even give Jensen time to recover, he lined up his rock hard cock and pushed it inside his blissed out boyfriend. He had Jensen practically bent in half as he fucked in to that tight hole. 

   "You always feel so good baby. So tight and hot. I just wanna stay buried in your ass forever, whether it's my dick or my tongue. I fucking belong here Jensen, right here, inside of you. Only me, right baby? I'm the only one who will ever get you like this right?" 

  "Fuck Jay yes. God, only you. For the rest of my life, I only want you. Nobody else, I'll never love anyone the way I love you."

"That's right baby nobody can love you like I can. You're mine Jen. Fuck I love you much."

   Jared leaned forward and started to kiss his boyfriends pouty lips. He sucked on the bottom one, worked it between his teeth before letting go and licking to soothe over the bites. 

   Jensen grabbed Jared's hair and began to pull on it. They both realized early on that they liked a little pain with their sex. Jared was worried in the beginning because he didn't want to cause his boyfriend any more pain but Jensen eventually convinced him that he really really enjoyed it. 

  Jared pulled out of Jensen suddenly, and flipped him over. He pulled Jensen up until he was on all fours and he slid his cock right back inside. Jared took both hands and ran his nails down Jensen's back.

   "Jesus fucking Christ Jay! God that feels so good. Harder baby, please fuck me harder."

   Jared didn't need to be told twice. He grabbed on to Jensen's waist and began to fuck the shit out of his boyfriend. 

   Jensen was so lost in the pleasure and pain he was feeling he didn't even need a hand on his dick as he came for the second time. Jared followed right behind him, the feeling of Jensen's muscle squeezing his cock from Jensen’s orgasm sent him over the edge. 

  Jared pulled out of Jensen, and leaned down to get his discarded t-shirt so he could use it to clean them both off. Once they were both cleaned enough, Jared laid back on the bed and pulled Jensen so his head was resting over Jared's heart. 

   "This was seriously the best day of my life Jared. Thank you. Thank you for giving me things I never thought I could have. I love you so much." 

  Jared kissed the top of Jensen's head, "I love you too baby. Sleep, I'll be here to keep the monsters away. You're safe with me."

  Jensen smiled and closed his eyes, he knew Jared meant it, he'd keep Jensen safe. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry for two chapters of sex in a row ;-) 
> 
> Also comments are life <3

     Jared woke up the next morning still wrapped around his boyfriend. This was the first night that he had slept over that Jensen hadn't had a night terror. He smiled at the thought, even Jensen's subconscious finally felt safe in Jared's arms. He placed a kiss to his boyfriend's temple and very gently unwrapped himself from the sleeping man. Once Jared was free of an armful of Jensen, he made his way in to the kitchen to start breakfast. 

    As Jared went to open the refrigerator he caught sight of his ring. He still couldn't believe that they had ended up getting each other the same exact ring. He ran his finger over the infinity symbol. Infinity. Forever. With Jensen. He really liked that idea. 

    A little while later Jared had finished preparing breakfast- eggs, bacon, and toast. Nothing special. He grabbed the plate with Jensen's food in one hand and held a coffee mug in the other and made his way in to his boyfriends room. He carefully placed the food and coffee down on the nightstand. 

     He wanted nothing more than to climb on top of his boyfriend and wake him up, but he was nervous that it would end up scaring Jensen and causing a panic attack. So he kept his distance, standing next to the bed. "Jen? Baby? I made breakfast. Come on love, it's time to eat." 

    Jensen opened one eye, and saw Jared standing next to his bed. His gorgeous boyfriend was nearly naked, wearing only a pair of briefs, his hair a mess. He looked good enough to eat. Which made Jensen think about the other surprise he had planned for last night that he didn't get a chance to do. "I actually have a better idea. You lay down, I'll be right back." Jensen hopped out of bed, kissed his boyfriend on the cheek and ran off in to the kitchen. 

    Jared climbed on to the bed, laid down and put his hands behind his head. He wondered what other surprise Jensen had planned for him. Whatever it was he was sure that he would love it. 

    A few minutes later Jensen walked back in to the room holding two giant bowls in his hands and a can of whipped cream under his arm. Jared was definitely gonna love this surprise! As Jensen walked closer Jared noticed one bowl was full of strawberries and the other was filled with melted chocolate. Yep he definitely loved where this was going. 

   "I had planned to do this last night but things kind of took a turn and I totally forgot. Hope you're a fan of strawberries." Jensen smiled as he placed everything on the bed next to Jared.

    He grabbed a piece of fruit, dipped it in chocolate and placed the other end in his mouth. He leaned forward and painted Jared's lips with the chocolate before his boyfriend opened up to eat the strawberry. The juices from the fruit dribbled down Jared's face. Jensen couldn't help himself so he leaned forward and licked it off his boyfriends chin. 

    "This is way better than the breakfast I made." 

    Jensen picked up another strawberry, this time spraying a little whipped cream on it. He held it above Jared's mouth, teasing him. Jared stuck out his tongue and licked at the whipped cream. Jensen slowly brought it closer so Jared could swallow the fruit down. 

   "I just had an idea of my own. Give me the whipped cream and turn around."

  Jensen did as he was told. He handed the can to Jared before getting up to straddle Jared in the reverse cowboy position. 

   "Now lean forward gorgeous. Yea just like that." Jared pulled his boyfriend toward him so he had Jensen's tight perky ass right in his face. He then sprayed a line of whipped cream down the crack of Jensen's ass.  He felt Jensen jerk a little, probably from the coldness of the whipped cream. Jared pulled Jensen's plump ass cheeks apart and began to lick from his boyfriends taint all the way up until there were no traces left of whipped cream. 

    "Mmm fuck baby you taste even better than usual. Can't get enough of this sweet ass!" He licked his way back down to Jensen's hole, running his tongue all over it before sticking it deep inside. 

     Jensen figured he would take advantage of the position they were in, so he pulled his boyfriends underwear down and got a hold of Jared's cock. 

  "Yea sweetheart, gonna suck my cock? Get it nice and wet so I can fuck your ass after I'm done eating it?" 

   Jensen didn't bother to answer, he was too busy wrapping his lips around the head of Jared's cock. He began to suck on it, swirled his tongue around it. He then grabbed the base and swallowed Jared down, bobbing up and down on his boyfriend's rock hard dick.  

    "Fuck Jen you're mouth! You take my dick so good baby."

  Jared managed to lean over enough to grab the bottle of lube that was on the beside table. He poured it over Jensen's hole, watched it drip down the crack of his ass before shoving two fingers inside. 

   Jensen's steady rhythm faltered slightly as Jared stuck his fingers inside of him. He quickly adjusted to the intrusion and went back to sucking Jared's cock.

  After a few minutes Jared pulled his fingers out. "Get on the bed Jen, I need to be inside you right the fuck now."

  Jensen scrambled off Jared's lap and got on his hands and knees towards the edge of the bed. Nothing was hotter in Jensen's opinion than Jared fucking him from behind. 

  Jared stepped behind Jensen, lined himself up and slammed home in one smooth motion. Jensen was so wet and open between the tongue and finger fucking he gave his boyfriend and the lube that was dripping all over Jensen's hole.

    He started working his cock in and out, holding on to Jensen's hips so tight there were gonna be fingerprints. The thought of his marks on Jensen's body, marks that weren't made from hate, spurred Jared on. He pulled his dick out so only the head was left inside and then slammed back in so hard Jensen moved up the bed.

   Jared began to run his hand over Jensen's ass and gave it a light slap. They hadn't done this yet, he wasn't sure if Jensen would be okay with it. But from the sounds the man was making he seemed to like it. 

   "You like that baby? Want me to smack your beautiful ass, leave my hand prints on you?

  "Oh my God Jay, fuck yes. Want your hands all over me. Mark me. Make me yours!" Jensen screamed as he gripped the comforter underneath him with both hands. 

  Jared still gripping Jensen's hip with one hand brought his other hand down to slap Jensen's ass again, a little harder this time. Slap! Another one even harder on the other cheek. Slap! And another. His boyfriend was screaming underneath him with every smack he laid on that beautiful ass. When Jared thought Jensen finally had enough he reached around and began to stroke Jensen's cock. 

    "Come on baby, I want you to cum for me. Need to feel you squeeze all around on my cock." 

   A few more strokes on Jensen's dick and he was coming all over Jared's hand and the bed. Jared brought his hand up to his own mouth and licked the cum off. 

  Before Jensen was even through the aftershocks of his own orgasm he moved forward up the bed so Jared's cock slipped out of him. Jensen turned his head around and Jared looked thoroughly confused. "I want you to cum on me Jay. Come on my ass, cum all over the marks you put on me."

   Jared grinned wickedly as he crawled on the bed. He watched as Jensen laid himself flat on his stomach. Jared grabbed his cock and began to jerk himself off. 

   "This what you want sweetheart? Want my load all over you? My hot cum all over your beaten and bruised ass? Fuck it's so hot Jen! You should see yourself right now." A few more strokes and Jared was coming all over his boyfriend. As soon as he finished he didn't hesitate before leaning forward and licking his cum off Jensen's ass. He licked all over, kissed every single mark he left on his boyfriends beautiful body. 

   "That was the hottest fucking thing ever. Jesus Christ Jay. You're amazing."  Jensen rolled himself over so he could look at his boyfriend's blissed out face. He's so glad that Jared had never judged him for enjoying pain during sex. Jensen had thought it had something to do with what happened to him but he tries not to dwell on it. As long Jared is ok with it, he doesn't mind. 

    Jared collapsed face first on to the bed. "You've officially killed me. Your ass is so amazing that it has actually killed me. Death by Ackles, what a way to go." 

  Jensen snickered and shook his head, his boyfriend is such a dork. He glanced over at the clock and realized what time it is. "You can't die right now babe, you need to get in the shower. You have work in a few hours." 

   Jared groaned, he was totally not in the mood to go to the club tonight. He was perfectly content with staying in Jensen's bed and having a repeat performance as soon as he was able to move again. 

    "Ughh I know I know. Wanna come take a shower with me?" Jared rolled on to his back and looked over at his boyfriend. "I'll give you a blowjob if you do." 

   Jensen shot out of bed and ran to the bathroom. The sound of Jared's booming laugh filled the room. 

 

 

 

 

 

     


	19. Chapter 19

      Jensen has pretty much been living on cloud nine. He and Jared have now been together for 3 blissful months. They've had their fair share of bumps in the road, mainly due to Jensen's illnesses and insecurities. But Jared is always so patient with him. He has never met anyone quite like Jared Padalecki.

     Jensen was laying in bed when his phone rang, he reached over to pick it up. The display flashed a picture of Chris's face. Chris and Steve had ended up getting discovered while on their small club tour and got signed to an up and coming record label. They were now currently on another tour opening for another band.

  At first Chris was worried that Jensen wouldn't be able to handle having his best friends gone for so long but Jensen convinced him that now that he had Jared, he would be fine. 

      "Hey Chris, hows life on the road treating ya?" 

   Chris sighed, "Man, I am exhausted. We have a two day break in between now and our next show and I think I'm gonna sleep the entire time."

   "Hey you wanted the rock star life, now you get to reep all the benefits. How's Steve handling it?" Jensen asked.

 "That boy is loving it. We've been getting so much ass on tour, I don't think he ever wants to come home. Speaking of getting ass, how's lover boy?" Chris and Steve had only met Jared once, they were home for a week in between gigs. They all hit it off really well. If you don't count when Chris threatened to castrate Jared if he ever hurt Jensen. 

   "He's good. He should be calling shortly before he leaves for work. I actually have something I want to run by you. I've been thinking about it a lot and I talked to Misha  and Dani about it but I think I want to ask Jared to move in."

   Jensen had been thinking about it a lot over the last month. He knew this was a huge step for anyone, but especially for someone like him. The truth is he loved having his boyfriend around. And between living in another borough and Jared working 2 jobs, they really didn't get as much time together as Jensen would like. Stolen moments between deliveries and the occasional brunch wasn't enough. Not to mention Jensen never felt more at ease than when Jared was there. 

    Over the last few weeks Jared even worked with Jensen to get him out of the house. They started out with just a few steps past Jensen's house. They eventually managed to make it to the Starbucks on the corner just two days ago. Jared was so proud of Jensen that after they got back to Jensen's, Jared fucked him right there in the entry way against the front door. 

    Jensen also only had night terrors on the nights when Jared wasn't there with him. He just made Jensen feel so safe and loved. He wanted that feeling all the time. He wanted to fall asleep and wake up with Jared wrapped around him. He wanted Jared leaving towels on the bathroom floor, even though he knew Jensen hated that. He wanted Jared there eating across from him at the kitchen table, talking with his mouth full while Jensen yelled at him that he's not an animal. He wanted Jared's clothes hanging in Jensen's closet next to his, instead of just the few things he left behind in a drawer of Jensen's dresser. He just wanted. 

   When he had brought up the idea to Dani and Misha, they both were thrilled. Even if they did think it was a little soon, they thought that this was such a big step for Jensen. Most of the time when Jensen made any sort of progress it was largely thanks to someone giving him a little nudge. This was something that he thought about all on his own. And he was damn proud of himself. 

    After the attack and Matt leaving him the way he did, he really never thought he would have another relationship. His friends may have thought he'd been relatively happy the last couple of years, but the truth is, he wasn't unhappy but he wasn't happy either. Jensen was just kind of there, going through the motions but he wasn't really living. Not until he met Jared. Just thinking about the man had put a huge smile on his face. 

    "Damn J really? Do you think you're ready for that kind of commitment? I know Jared's a great guy and all but living together? I don't know man." 

  Jensen was slightly disappointed that Chris didn't seem immediately on board with the idea. But honestly, Jensen didn't need Chris's blessing. Even he couldn't convince his friend that this was the best thing for him, he was going with his gut for once. 

   "I love him Chris. More than I have ever loved anyone, including myself. I would die for that man. And I am not afraid of that. He has helped in my recovery so damn much and I couldn't picture my life without him. I want this Chris and I would really love to have your support but if not I'm still gonna do it." Jensen was proud of himself for standing his ground. 

    "Good for you J. Seriously I can tell how much better you are just by the way this conversation is going. And if you want to ask Jared to move in, well I'm behind you. Oh and Steve's over hear yelling that he think's it's great."

   Jensen was relived. Everyone was officially on board with his plan. Now all he had to do was get the courage to ask Jared. A knock at the door pulled Jensen from his thoughts. Jared's knock. He wasn't expecting his boyfriend but he couldn't help but smile at the thought he would get to see Jared before work.

   "Hey Chris Jared's at the door, guess he wanted to surprise me before work. I'll let you know how it goes, and enjoy your days off. Love ya man."

  "Talk to you soon J, love ya too."

  Jensen hung up the phone and walked to his front door. When he opened it his boyfriend was standing there with the biggest smile on his face.

    "Not that I'm not thrilled you're here babe but don't you have work soon?" Jensen asked as he hugged his boyfriend. 

   "Yea I told them I was going to be a little late. I just really wanted to see you." Jared kissed Jensen gently on the lips before they headed in to the living room to sit down. 

   "I kinda feel like fate had something to do with it. I just got off the phone with Chris and after talking to him and Dani and Misha I made a decision about something." 

  Jared tilted his head to the side, he looked worried. "Uhh ok? This isn't something you wanted to talk to me about?" Jared seemed a little offended that Jensen had discussed something with everyone important in his life besides him. 

   "Well it umm kind of has to do with you. And I wanted to talk to everyone else before I talked to you about it." Jensen felt his chest get tight, and the rocking started. He really had been doing so well, but this was huge for him. And as much as he wants this, he was still nervous.

    Jared was there in an instant pulling Jensen close to him, letting Jensen rest his head on Jared's chest as Jared ran his hand up and down his back. 

   "Breathe baby. It's ok. You're ok. I'm right here. Can you breathe with me Jen? Come on, in....out. Good. Again, in.....and out."

   Jared always knew exactly how to help Jensen. Within minutes he was finally calm. He looked up at Jared and noticed his eyes had tears that were ready to fall. 

   "God no Jay, don't cry. I promise this decision isn't anything bad. At least I hope it's not. Please don't cry." Jensen brought his finger up and wiped away the tears that finally managed to escape. 

   "I'm sorry. It's just you said it had to do with me and then you had an attack and I just...please don't tell me you're breaking up with me?" Jared looked terrified. 

   Jensen pulled his boyfriend in for a hug, "Jesus Jay, not a chance! It's actually the opposite." He let go of Jared and put both of his hands on Jared's face. He could do this! "Jared, I love you with all my heart. I miss you every second you aren't with me. So I was wondering if you maybe, would want to move in? With me?" 

  Jared practically jumped on top of Jensen. "Seriously baby? Oh my God Jensen, yes. A million times yes! Of course I'll move in with you." 

   Jensen was so damn happy. He sat there with his 6'4 boyfriend pretty much in his lap while he sprinkled kisses all over his face. 

 "When can I move in? I can skip work and move in right now!"

  Jensen laughed, "As much as I want you to move in as soon as possible, I think we can at least wait until this weekend, if that's ok? I just wanna move a few things around, make some room for you." 

  "Yea of course. Sorry I just got really excited." Jared looked away from Jensen. 

  "Hey no baby, don't apologize. I'm just as excited. I can't wait to be able to wake up to your beautiful face every day." Jensen leaned in and kissed his boyfriend. 

    "Me too. Wow. I can't believe it, we're gonna be living together. I get to come home from work every night to you. Fuck, work! I gotta get going. But I'm gonna call you as soon as I get on break." They both stood up and headed toward the front door. 

    "I love you so much baby, have a good night at work!" Jensen kissed Jared once more. 

   "Love you too gorgeous." One more kiss for the road and Jared was out the door. 

   Jensen quickly headed to his room to start making room for Jared. His boyfriend already had a drawer in his dresser but he cleaned out two more, condensing his own belongings and putting whatever he was keeping in a bin inside his closest. He started a pile of clothes he was going to donate to good will. He then made his way in to his closet, throwing out things he hadn't worn in a while. 

   Once he was finished making room in the closet, he made his way in to the bathroom. Jared already had his own shampoo and conditioner in the shower. He had a toothbrush in the holder that sat right next to Jensen's. He went through his medicine chest. Opening it always kind of threw him, just looking at all the medications he was prescribed for his illnesses. As good as he was doing since starting to date Jared he still needed to be on all of these prescriptions. 

    As soon as he finished the bathroom, Jensen headed in to the living room. He had a deadline to finish by tomorrow and should have been working on it but between Chris's call, Jared's unexpected visit and making room in the apartment, he forgot all about it until now. He sat on the couch, opened his laptop and got to work. 

     A few hours later Jensen's phone rang, he picked it up with a smile. Just looking at the picture he had saved under Jared's contact name made him happy. It was a picture of Jensen smiling at the camera while Jared was turned making a silly face and sticking his tongue out at Jensen. 

     "Hey Jay, how's work?" Jensen put his laptop down and got up to walk to the kitchen to make himself some coffee knowing he wanted to be up tonight for Jared to come over after work. Instead of hearing his boyfriend's enthusiastic greeting, he heard sobbing. 

     "Jared? Babe what's going on? You're freaking me out." Jensen was beginning to panic. 

   "Jen? Remember a few months back when that guy grabbed my, you know. And then got thrown out?" 

  Jensen knew exactly what Jared was talking about. It was the night that they officially became a couple and Jared had come over after some asshole grabbed his dick while he was on stage. "Yea baby I remember. What happened? Did he come back?"

     "Mhmm. I didn't see him at first. I danced my way over to the table him and his buddies were at and didn't know it was him. He grabbed my arm and pulled me down, he shoved his hand down the front of my underwear and put a fifty dollar bill in. And then he  started to call me a pretty boy slut. He was saying he would get his money's worth this time and that he would take it outta my ass." Jared cried harder in to the phone. 

  "Where the fuck was the bouncer!?" Jensen was furious. How could someone treat his boyfriend like that. He just wanted his boyfriend there in his house, their house, safe. 

    "There was a fight on the other side of the club he was trying to break apart. God Jen it was awful. He was holding me so tight I couldn't break free. Mike and Chad had finally seen what was happening and ran over to get him off me. I told my boss I couldn't stay, I was too shaken up. I just got off the subway, I'm a few blocks from your place. Can I come over? I really need you right now?" Jared sounded so utterly broken. 

     "Of course Jay. I'll throw something in the oven for you so you'll have a nice warm meal ready when you get here. Then we can sit and watch a movie and cuddle on the couch. God babe I love you so much, just hurry and get here." 

    "Thank you, I'll be there in less than 10 minutes, and that would be great Jen. I'm starving, haven't eaten all......" 

   Jensen suddenly heard a scream, a scream that sounded like Jared. 

  "Jared? Jay? Jared you're scaring me!! Jared! Hello? Jay. Fuck baby. Please. Say something?"

    Jensen didn't know what to do. He didn't want to hang up to call anyone in case Jared came back on the phone. He was panicking. Think Jensen think! He put the call on speaker and got out of the call without ending it. He went to the Find My iPhone app to see if he could see where Jared was. 

   Four blocks. Jared was only four blocks from his house. He knew if he hung up and called the cops it would take them much longer to get there than it would take Jensen if he ran. He couldn't breathe. Four blocks. He's never been that far outside of his house. But Jared was in trouble. Flashes of the night of Jensen's attack swirled in his mind. He couldn't let that happen to Jared. He HAD to do this. With his phone tightly in his grip he opened his door and he ran. 


	20. Chapter 20

 

 

      Four blocks. Jared was only four blocks away. He could do this, for Jared. He ran down his front steps and paused to take a deep breath. He had his phone still firmly held in his hand, holding it up to his ear. The only thing he could hear was the faint sound of cars driving by. There were no more screams. No more sounds of Jared crying out in pain. But the call was still connected, he didn't want to hang up. But he knew that he was going to have to call the police. Even if he did find Jared, there was only so much Jensen was going to be able to do. 

      Jensen knew he had to move. He was wasting precious time. Jared could be seriously hurt or God forbid he could have been taken. Taken and tortured like Jensen. No. Jensen wasn't going to let that happen. His beautiful, perfect boyfriend who was so pure and loving, did not deserve to have his life ruined. Especially not because Jensen was too scared to try and save him. One more deep breath, and he took off. 

     Three blocks. Jensen only had to go three more blocks. He was running as fast as he could. Flashes to his attack kept flooding his thoughts. Picturing Jared being the one tied to that chair. Having cigarettes being put out all over that beautiful tanned body. Jensen started to feel an attack coming on. He kept trying to focus on the fact that he was close. Just three more blocks.

     By the time he was only two blocks away and there was still no sign of Jared on the other end of the call, he knew he was going to have to hang up and call the cops. "Jay? Baby if you can hear me, I'm coming. Just hold on a little longer ok Jared? We're moving in together, I need you to be ok." Jensen couldn't stop the tears from falling as he continued to run. "I love you with all my heart. I'm coming Jared." With that he disconnected the call and dialed 911.

      _"911 what's your emergency?"_

"My boyfriend, he's in trouble. I was on the phone with him and I heard him scream and then nothing."

      _"Do you know his location?"_

   "I checked on the Find My iPhone app and it showed that he was on East 7th and 2nd Avenue. I know it's not exact but he's somewhere over there" Jensen looked up and realized he was half a block away. He could do this.

     _"Ok sir we are dispatching a car to that location right now. You can hang up now, we'll take care of this."_

  Jensen hung up and ran the last half a block to the location he had given the 911 operator. He had to slow his pace to check the sidewalks, he looked inside store fronts to see if maybe Jared went looking for help. When he finally got to an alleyway right by the Orpheum Theater he spotted a body laying next to a dumpster. "Please let him be ok, please?" he begged out loud as he ran down the alley. 

He immediately dropped to the ground and began rocking back and forth when he saw that the body was Jared. His boyfriend wasn't moving. Jensen couldn't even tell if he was breathing. He leaned forward and cradled Jared's head in to his lap. His hair was caked with blood, stuck to his forehead. Jensen tried smoothing it off his face like he always hid but it wouldn't budge. He took in his boyfriends abused features. The cuts and bruises all over Jared's face. 

      "Wake up Jay. Please? I'm here and I need you. I need you more than I've ever needed you." He knew he was being a terrible person but Jensen was terrified. What if whoever did this to Jared came back? What if they came back and took Jared and Jensen. He couldn't breathe. The fear was just too much. He was trying so hard to be strong for Jared.

     'Breathe Jensen, breathe! Do it like Jared does it.' He thought to himself as he took a deep breathe, counted to 3 and let it out. He placed his hand over Jared's heart and took another breath. He could feel Jared's heart, barely beating under his hand. He leaned down and put his head to Jared's, closed his eyes and prayed salvation would come in the form of the police. He couldn't keep it together much longer. 

     A few moments later, 2 EMT workers and 4 police officers were all hovering around him. 

   "Sir, can you please come with us so we can help your friend?" One of the EMT"s asked.

   And if they thought for even one second he was leaving Jared, they had another thing coming. Jared was his lifeline. The only thing keeping him from losing his damn mind at the fact he was surrounded by strangers. Strangers who could very well be one of the people who held him captive and tortured him. Jensen practically draped himself over Jared's body. They could pry him off if they have to, he wasn't leaving Jared's side. 

       "Sir please, we need to save your friend's life and you are in the way of that. I promise you can ride with him in the ambulance. Just let us help him?" The second EMT bent over and placed her hand on Jensen's shoulder. When he realized she was a woman he felt a little more comfortable. She couldn't have been someone to attack him. He started to rock with Jared still in his arms. He was trying to move but he couldn't. 

       "I'm going to help you ok? My name is Sandy. My partner, Lucas, is going to put a brace on your friends neck to stabilize it, then we're gonna transfer him over to a gurney and do what we can until we get to the hospital. But you have to let go of your friend."

          Jensen nodded and let Sandy help him place Jared in her partners awaiting hands. When he finally stood up he couldn't stop the sobs that fell from his mouth. His chest tightened and he couldn't breathe. Sandy placed her tiny hand on his back and led him over to the ambulance. 

      "I'm going to give you some oxygen, from what I can see you're having a panic attack."

   The poor girl didn't even get a chance to grab the oxygen mask before Jensen let his panic attack consume him as he passed out. 

 

     


	21. Chapter 21

Jared woke to the sounds of something beeping. He slowly cracked open his eyes, all he could see were a white ceiling and bright lights. He tried to lift his head but he couldn't, sharp pains shot up as soon as he made an attempt. He felt like there was something around his neck, a brace maybe? Was he in the hospital? The last thing he remembered was being on the phone with Jensen and somebody hitting him from behind. Then nothing. God his boyfriend must be going out of his mind with worry.

         "Good to see your awake, you had us all a little worried." a female voice said from across the room. He heard footsteps getting closer. He felt the bed he was laying on tilt up so he could see who was in front of him. A petite brunette stood at the foot of the bed dressed in scrubs. "My name is Genevieve, I'm your day nurse for today. I'm gonna take your vitals and then go get the doctor to come in and go over your injuries." She made her way over to him and hooked a blood pressure cuff to his arm. 

     Jared tried to speak but nothing came out, he cleared his throat and tried again. "How long have I been here?" he rasped. 

  "Three days. You've been in a coma since you arrived. Your boyfriend is going to be thrilled when he comes back and sees that you're finally awake." she smiled as she unhooked the cuff. 

          "My boyfriend? Jensen was here?" The nurse had to have been mistaken. There's no way Jensen would leave his house and come to a hospital filled with people. "Are you sure it wasn't one of my friends and you just assumed they were my boyfriend?"

      "Pretty sure. Unless your boyfriend isn't a gorgeous guy who is painfully shy, has the most incredible green eyes and goes by the name of Jensen?"

  Jared couldn't believe it. Jensen had been here. He had been to see Jared, he smiled at the thought despite the pain coursing through his body. He let a groan which Gen noticed. "I'm gonna get the doctor to come in and give you some pain medication. And Jensen should be back any minute. I sent him down to get some coffee, that boy has barely slept since he came in with you." She smiled sweetly and left the room. 

     Huh? Jensen came in with him? He was so confused. He couldn't wait for his boyfriend to get there so he could get some answers.

     Jared looked down and noticed that he had one arm in a cast. He couldn't see any of his other injuries but he sure as shit felt them. Those pain meds the nurse mentioned sounded really good right about now. He was in a ridiculous amount of pain. Jared tried to keep his eyes open so he would be awake when Jensen or his doctor came in to see him, but exhaustion won out and he closed his eyes and fell back to sleep.  
       

       The next time Jared woke up he felt someone holding his hand, the one without the cast. He looked down to see Jensen resting on the bed, with his arm tucked underneath his head to support it. He also noticed he wasn't in nearly as much pain as before.   
   

          As much as he didn't want to wake his boyfriend, he really need to see him and find out what happened. He pulled his hand free of Jensen's and stroked his boyfriends head. "Jen? Jensen wake up love." His boyfriend bolted upright and immediately began to cry.

     "Oh my god Jared! When Gen told me you woke up while I was gone I was devastated. I barely left your room since I've been here, of course you choose to wake up when I go to the cafeteria." Jensen stood up and cupped his boyfriends face before leaning down to place a gentle kiss on his temple.

      "Ok first, what the hell happened to me Jen? And second, how are you even here?" Jared was baffled. 

   "My god Jared it was awful. After I heard you scream and then heard nothing else, I checked the Find My iPhone app to see if I could see where you were. You were about 4 blocks from my house. I figured I would get there faster than the cops, so I ran. I made it to the corner before I started to panic. I knew I had to find you, so I kept going. When I was less than a block away I finally hung up the call with you and called 911." Jensen started breathing shakily. 

     "When I found you.." Jensen took a deep breath. "When I found you, you were laying in an alleyway, you were already unconscious. I held your head in my lap and I had a panic attack. I tried to breathe the way you do with me. I put my hand on your heart and tried to breathe. When the cops and EMT's finally got there I refused to let go of you. I had such a bad panic attack I ended up in a bed of my own." 

    Jared couldn't believe it. He had no recollection of ending up in his current condition. "Did they find who had hurt me? Do they know why?"

"Uh yea. There was a bank next door to the alley I found you in. They had surveillance footage. The cops caught the guy yesterday. Jay, it was the guy from the club. The cops took the picture with them to question Clif and matched it with the clubs surveillance. He's in jail."

    Jared released a breath he had been holding. At least the asshole who hurt him was behind bars. Unlike Jensen's assailants who are still out there somewhere. Just then a man appeared at the door in a white lab coat, Jared assumed this was his doctor. 

     "Good to see you awake Mr. Padalecki. I'm Dr. Morgan, I was the attending on call the night you were brought it. Thought it was time we met and went over your injuries." The doctor made his way in to the room holding Jared's chart."Obviously you can see that your right arm is in a cast, you came in with a broken wrist. The brace around your neck is more preventive than anything, there are some pulled muscles there but nothing that can't be fixed with a few exercises."

   Jared just nodded as the doctor continued, "You had 2 broken ribs, one of which punctured your lung. This required surgery to rectify. It was the most serious of all your injuries. You do also have some cuts that appeared to be made with a pocket knife, along with some other bumps and bruises. You also had a rather large gash on the top of your head that required stitches."

      Jared knew he was lucky. Knowing what Jensen had gone through things could have ended up so much worse. 

    "We're going to keep you here for a few more days. Now that you're awake I wanna give you another MRI and a CatScan just to make sure everything else is ok. If you have any questions or concerns as far as treatment please feel free to ask. Oh and please make your boy here go home and get some rest before he ends up right back here in a bed next to you." Dr. Morgan patted Jensen on the back. 

       "Thank you Dr. Morgan, I don't have any questions as of now. I kind of just want to be alone with my boyfriend if that's ok?" Jared just wanted to curl around Jensen and take a nap, which is exactly what he planned on doing once they were alone. 

    "Of course. Get some rest, the both of you. I'll be back later to check in on you two." The doctor smiled and left the room. 

     "Jen can you come up here? I really need to hold you right now." Jared scooted over as slow as he could to make room for Jensen. 

   "I don't think that's a good idea Jay, I don't wanna hurt you, especially your incision from surgery."

   Jared was not going to take no for an answer. "If you don't get up here I will unhook myself from all these machines and drag you up here. And then I'll really end up hurting myself. Please baby? I just need to feel you in my arms." Jared pulled out his patented puppy eyes and he knew this battle was won. With a sigh, Jensen carefully climbed in bed next to Jared. 

     It was hard to get in a comfortable position for both of them without Jared hurting himself, but Jensen managed to lay his head on Jared's shoulder as he wrapped his arm sans cast around him. This is what he needed. Obviously the pain meds helped but nothing made Jared feel better than having his brave and gorgeous boyfriend in his arms.  

     "Thank you Jensen. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for being so brave and saving me. I can not believe you overcame your biggest fears for me. I didn't think I could love you any more than I already did but you just went and proved me wrong." Jared so badly wanted to lean down and kiss his boyfriend but his movement was limited with the neck brace. 

       "You never have to thank me for this Jared. No amount of fear of the outside world was going to keep me from getting to you. I can't lose you Jay, you're my whole world."

        Jared felt Jensen's tears right through the hospital gown he was wearing. He stroked Jensen's head with his good hand, "You're never going to lose me my love, I promise." With that they both laid there in silence, soaking in each others presence until they both fell asleep. Dreaming of the future that they would have, together. 


	22. Chapter 22

      Two days later Jared was finally released from the hospital. He had sent Jensen home on strict orders not to come back to the hospital. He could see how nervous Jensen still was to be out of the safety of his home. Jensen put up one hell of an argument but finally gave in when Jared threatened to take sex off the table for a month. That is another month, since he was currently out of commission thanks to his operation. 

      "You ready to get outta here J bird?" Chad asked as he walked in to Jared's hospital room and over to the wheel chair Jared was sitting in. His friend had offered to be the one to come collect him from the hospital. Jared was honestly surprised that Jensen hadn't decided to tag along. He knew it was going to be difficult to see his boyfriend for a while. Their plans to move in together were going to have to be put on hold until Jared was well enough to move.

      And he knew Jensen, despite his heroics to save Jared's life, was still not completely recovered from his agoraphobia. Extenuating circumstances led to Jensen leaving his house. Jared wasn't going to assume Jensen was going to be ready to live a normal life right away.  But this was a huge step. Jensen had gone out on his own to find Jared and stayed in the hospital with him for three days. He knew this was the beginning of breaking Jensen out of his shell and having him venture out in the world. 

      Jared nodded, "Let's roll!" He couldn't wait to get home and lay in his own bed without the constant beeping sounds and nurses waking him up to check his vitals. Jared felt like he could probably sleep for a week. Chad wheeled him out to his car and helped transfer him from the wheel chair to the front seat. Chad then made his way around to the drivers side, hopped in and headed home. Jared closed his eyes, and a vision of bright green eyes and freckles took over his mind. 

       Jared woke up to Chad gently shaking him and calling his name. He opened his eyes and looked outside. "Umm Chad I thought we were going home? Why are we at Jensen's? Not that I'm not thrilled to see him but I am really beat and kind of need to lay down." Jared desperately wanted to see his boyfriend but he was exhausted and in pain. He knew if he came to Jensen's it would take him way too much energy and strength to go home after already having moved from the hospital today. 

       "Your boy really wanted to see you. Trust me man, it's all good. Let me help you inside." Chad got out and came around the other side to help Jared. It was slow going getting up the front steps. This was another reason he kind of wanted to go home. His building had an elevator. By the time they got up the steps Jared was sweating and felt like he was ready to collapse. He held on to Chad like his life depended on it and with the other hand knocked his special knock so Jensen knew he was there. 

      As soon as the front door opened and Jared saw his boyfriend standing there beaming at him, wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a white v neck t-shirt, he thought that the pain he was feeling was worth it. Jensen grabbed Jared on the other side of Chad and they both helped him inside. 

     "I missed you so much baby you have no idea, but I really need to lie down. Can I rest in your room?" Jared asked hesitantly. He didn't want Jensen to think he wasn't glad to be here but he needed to lay down. 

      "You mean our room Jay. Look around." Jensen nodded his head toward the living room. Jared slowly looked around and noticed all the subtle changes. Over on the end tables there were the pictures Jared had of his family and friends that were scattered throughout his room. His big leather recliner was over in the corner, angled perfectly so he could see the tv. Jared noticed his Xbox One and a bunch of games and movies were now sitting in the entertainment unit Jensen had. 

      "What? How did all my stuff get here?" Jared was so confused. They made there way to the bedroom and once again Jared was again confused as he saw even more of his belongings. They brought him over to the bed, which now had the blanket his grandmother knitted folded up on the foot of the bed, and laid him down as gently as possible.  

    "Well Chad and a couple of the guys from the club helped. They packed all of your stuff and moved it in here for us. I wanted you to come home when you left the hospital, to our home. And I asked Chad if he could help." Jensen looked away shyly. "I hope I didn't make a mistake. I'm sorry Jared we should have talked about it before I went ahead and just moved you in. I know you were excited before about it and just assumed, I'm sorry." Jared could see the start of an attack forming in Jensen.

     He reached forward and grabbed his boyfriends hand. "No Jen, seriously this is incredible." Jared smiled up at his boyfriend who nodded back at him and gave a weak smile. 

     "I'm gonna head out guys. If either of you need anything call me. Feel better dude. Oh and I’m keeping your mutt until you’re a little bit better. We don’t need her jumping on you, no arguing!" Chad ruffled Jared's hair, gave Jensen a pat on the back and left them alone. He figured his friend knew they needed time to talk. 

     "Come lay down with me baby. We need to talk and my neck kind of hurts having to look up at you." Jared chuckled.

   Jensen gently climbed in to bed and they positioned themselves so they were laying down facing each other. Jared took his good hand and slowly dragged his thumb across his boyfriends plump bottom lip. He hadn't kissed those lips in two whole days, he felt like he was dying. "Before you talk I need you to kiss me Jen but I can't lean forward any further. It still hurts pretty bad."

     Jensen didn't hesitate before leaning over and slowly kissed his boyfriend. Normally Jared would deepen their kisses but he knew he couldn't do much more physically so he didn't want to rile himself up. They traded soft kisses, occasionally nibbling and licking at each others lips. After a few minutes Jared pulled back so they could talk. 

     "Sweetheart what you did was amazing. I'm sorry if you thought I wasn't thrilled to death about moving in with you right now. I was so upset knowing I wouldn't be able to move in right away after what happened. I am so happy that you did this on your own and we can start our lives together. I just feel bad now you're stuck taking care of me until I'm better."

     "God Jay you have no idea how happy I am that I get to be the one to help you. You've taken care of me every single day since we've been together and now I get to return the favor. I feel like I have a purpose. After what happened, I honestly don't want you to be out of my sight. I was so scared" Jensen was trying and failing to hold back his tears. 

       "We take care of each other, it's part of the boyfriend package. I will always be there for you, to take care of you. And I am so thankful that I have you to do the same. And I promised you already I'm not going anywhere and I meant it. Not until you tell me to go." Jared hoped that day would never come. He couldn't imagine his life without Jensen by his side. "Now wipe your tears and let's take a nap, I can't keep my eyes open much longer." 

        Jensen did as he was told as he turned himself around so his back was to Jared's chest. Jared brought his arm in the cast around Jensen and laid it across his chest as Jensen burrowed in closer to Jared. Jared placed a kiss on the back of Jensen's head. "I love you so much baby." Jared whispered softly. All he got in return was the sound of his boyfriends breathing, Jensen had already fallen asleep. 


	23. Chapter 23

     A few weeks later Jared was finally ready to get back to work. Jensen was still a bit hesitant to let Jared out of his sight after the attack but with enough convincing he finally eased up and let Jared go. He didn't want to admit it but he was also a little nervous to be back at the club.

   The man who attacked him saw him there first. The guy was pissed at Jared for denying his advances. Even though he knew that particular person was no longer a threat to him, someone else could do the same thing.

   He didn't want to let Jensen know he was having these thoughts, he knew his boyfriend would try and convince him to wait a little longer to go back or just quit. But Jared really loved his job, he loved the friends he worked with, he didn't want to give it up just yet. 

      "Call me the minute you get there. Please Jay, don't forget. I'm gonna be a nervous wreck until I know you got there safely. And then call me during your break, and then again when you're about to leave. And don't forget to take an Uber home tonight." Jensen was hugging Jared so tightly, like he would disappear if he let go. Jared loved that his boyfriend was so protective of him. 

       "Baby I promise! I talked to Chad, he's bringing Sadie back and he's gonna come with me to work so I'm not alone." Jared was relieved when his friend had offered to accompany him back on his first day. He also couldn't wait to have his baby girl back. Chad had brought her by a few times while he was recovering but he couldn't take her for walks while he was healing and he knew Jensen wouldn't be able to.

      Despite Jensen's heroics, he had regressed back to staying in the apartment for the most part. They would both occasionally sit out on the front steps but that was as far as he would go.

   Jared honestly thought Jensen would be able to start going out in public and leaving the safety bubble of his house. But witnessing someone he loved get attacked in a similar manor that caused his agoraphobia obviously made him even more nervous to leave the house. 

      They were both clinging together when they heard Chad's knock at the door. Jared tried removing himself from his boyfriends grip but he wouldn't let go. "Jen, sweetheart, I have to answer the door. You gotta let go babe." Jensen just burrowed his head further in to the crook of Jared's neck and shook his head.

        "Nuh uh don't want to. If you open the door that means you're gonna leave and I would much rather you stay here. I wanna drag you back to bed and let you have your way with me." 

     Jared loved the idea of taking Jensen back to their bed but he also wasn't too keen on Jensen continuing to pay for everything like he had been the last few weeks while he's been out of work.

   He heard Chad knock again and Sadie bark. "As much as I would love to take you back to bed and fuck you until you scream, I already told them I was coming back today. I promise as soon as I get home tonight I'll rock your world gorgeous." 

      Jensen huffed and finally let go, "Fine. But I'm holding you to that!" Jared laughed and leaned in to kiss his boyfriend quickly and headed over to the front door.

 

    As soon as the door opened Sadie jumped up and almost knocked him over. "There's my girl. I missed you! Did you miss Daddy? Yes you did." Jared was too busy petting his dog to realize that his boyfriend and best friend were listening to him baby talk to her. He looked up and saw that they were both standing there looking at him like he's lost his mind. Jared was totally not embarrassed, nope. Not even a little bit. 

    "I hate to break this up but we gotta get going J bird if we're gonna get to work on time." Chad pulled Jared up and away from Sadie.  Jared nodded and walked over to Jensen and hugged him one more time. 

    "I love you and I'll be okay I promise baby." 

     "I know, I love you too. Just don't forget to call me." Jensen kissed Jared on his cheek and let go. 

   Chad put his arm around Jared's shoulder, "Don't worry Jensen I'll keep your boy safe." Jensen nodded and followed them to the door. Jared kissed Jensen one last time and was out the door. 

 

       When Jared and Chad finally arrived at work, he had to stop at the front door and take a deep breath. He could do this, he was safe. His boss had told him over the phone that he had hired two more security guards after the incident. That made him feel a little bit safer.

   If Chad noticed that Jared was hesitant to go inside, he didn't say anything. He just patted Jared on the back and they both headed inside. 

      Jared was greeted by all of his fellow co workers who were so glad he was back. They all gave him sympathetic looks as he explained the extent of his injuries from the attack. He politely told them he didn't want to talk about the attack itself which they all understood. 

   After he talked to everyone he made his way downstairs to change. Jared had put on his first costume, a chain link harness and leather shorts. He heard the familiar music of Mike's cop number. He knew he only had one more act before he had to get up there. 

    He picked up his phone and called Jensen, he needed to let his boyfriend know he was safe. He also just needed to hear the sound of his voice. After a few rings the call went to voicemail. Maybe he was sleeping or in the shower Jared thought to himself. He tried again and still no answer, but this time he decided to leave a message. 

     "Hey gorgeous it's me. I'm at work, I'm safe. I, uh, I'm a little nervous babe. I think I should have listened to you, I don't think I'm really ready to be back here. But I guess it's too late now. I really need to hear your voice right now. I need you to tell me I'll be ok, that nothing bad is going to happen. Call me back as soon as you get this baby. I love you." Jared sighed and hung up.

     Chad had made his way down the steps holding a bottle of whiskey. "I figured a little liquid courage might be in order." Jared thought that sounded like a fantastic idea. He didn't even wait for Chad to get two shot glasses out. He just grabbed the bottle and started drinking. 

     "Whoa slow down Jared, you still need to be able to function when you get out there. And besides someone is up there asking for a private dance. Steve said he's gonna push your act back so you can go take care of the guy waiting for you." 

      Jared began to panic. He was already nervous about performing on stage, he didn't think he was really ready to give a lap dance. "Chad I can't man, you do it. Or send Tom or Mike. Anybody else, I'm not ready." Jared was embarrassed that he couldn't perform part of his duties but his boss would just have to deal. He wasn't ready. 

      "The guy specifically asked for you, and trust me you're not going to want to pass this up. The guy is drop dead gorgeous."

   Jared didn't care what the guy looked like or how much he was going to pay, he couldn't do it. He shook his head, "No Chad. I can't. I don't think I should even be here. Tell everyone I'm sorry but I gotta go home." Jared went to reach for his clothes to throw on so he could get out of there. 

     "Dude trust me, go upstairs to the private VIP room. I promise you won't regret it. I'll even go up there with you." Jared couldn't understand why his friend was pushing this on him but he gave up as Chad dragged him back upstairs.

     When they got to the door of the VIP room Jared could see the giant grin on his friends face. "Go on in Jared he's waiting for you." With a pat on the back Chad walked away. 

     Jared took a deep breath and opened the door. 

    "How much for the entire night handsome?"

   Jared was speechless. He couldn't believe that Jensen was sitting there. Jared walked right over and immediately straddled his boyfriends lap. "God Jen! I can't believe you're here. How are you here?"

      "Well every time that you were at physical therapy I started venturing out a little each day. I wanted to surprise you. I'm not 100% better and I totally dragged Dani here with me tonight because this is the furthest I've ever been and I couldn't do it alone. But I'm here. For you. I got your message when I was already on my way and I'm so glad I had this planned. It's ok to not be ready to be back here Jay. Nobody is disappointed or upset with you. I am so damn proud of you that you even made it here. I love you so much, you're so strong babe."

      Jared grabbed his boyfriends face and started kissing him all over. Jensen was giggling underneath him but Jared didn't care. All he cared about was his boyfriend loved him enough to once again conquer his fears when Jared needed him most. He was so damn lucky. 

      "As much as I could stay here and kiss you all night, let's go home. Take me home Jay and fuck me like you promised."

   Jared thought that sounded like a fantastic idea. He got off his boyfriends lap and dragged him towards the front door. Not caring that he was practically naked. He needed to get his boy spread out on their bed. 

     "Text Dani from the cab, tell her a private dance with whoever she chooses is on me." It was the least Jared could do for dragging Jensen out of there without letting her know. Jared waved his arm and hailed them a cab, he couldn't get home fast enough. 

     

     


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay I haven't been feeling well this last week. Well this is the last chapter. I was planning on an epilogue but I kinda just wanted to wrap this up. There may be a time stamp in the future. Thank you everyone for reading, I hope I did an ok job at my first fic!

      They both kept their hands to themselves during the short cab ride home. But the second they got inside their house, all bets were off. Jared had thrown Jensen up against the door and started kissing his neck. "Can't believe you did that for me baby. I love you so much." Jared whispered in between kisses.

    To be honest Jensen still couldn't believe it either. He worked so hard the last few weeks at overcoming his phobia and venturing out more and more each day. He wanted to get better for Jared. His boyfriend was so amazing and supportive and was still there for Jensen through every panic attack even after Jared had gone through something just as bad as what he went through.

   He was also kind of glad that Jared had taken them out of the club pretty fast after his arrival. Being home, in Jared's arms, having his boyfriends mouth all over him was much better than spending the night hanging out watching Jared work. 

    Jared pulled Jensen's shirt over his head and began to kiss his way down Jensen's body. He knelt down in front of Jensen and made quick work of pulling his pants down. He placed wet open mouth kisses all over Jensen's stomach and worked his way down to his hip bones and began to suck a bruise in to his pale freckled skin.

    Jensen couldn't help the soft whimpers coming out of his mouth as Jared began to slowly stroke his cock as he continued kissing and licking and biting every inch of skin he could get his mouth on. As much as Jensen liked fast and rough, sometimes sweet and slow was even better. 

   Jared eventually swallowed Jensen down. Bobbing up and down so slowly, it was almost torture. Jensen loved getting a blowjob as much as the next guy but he really just wanted Jared to make love to him. "Jay I really need you to take me to bed, please?" Jared pulled off his cock and looked up at him and winked. He stood up, took a hold of Jensen's hand and made their way to their room. 

     They both stripped off the rest of their clothes and got on the bed. Jared had Jensen pulled with his back to Jared's chest. He saw Jared reach under his pillow where he had a bottle of lube ready for quick access. He poured a little on his fingers and they made their way down Jensen's crack to his hole.

   Jared inserted two fingers from the jump, knowing that Jensen was probably still opened from earlier that morning. Jensen began to moan and he suddenly realized that the sounds he was making were the only sounds in the room.

     It was kind of strange, even if they were making love instead of fucking, Jared was usually still running his mouth with the dirty talk Jensen got off on but now Jared hadn't said much since they got home. Jensen craned his neck to look back at his boyfriend. "Jay? Are you ok babe? You're kind of quiet tonight." Jensen of course didn't mind the lack of dirty talk but he was concerned that something was going on in his boyfriends head. 

    Jensen felt Jared pull his fingers out of his ass. He instantly regretted saying anything about the lack of talking. Jensen rolled over so he was looking at his boyfriend who was just smiling so damn wide at him that all his concerns disappeared. 

    "I'm sorry gorgeous, I know how much you love me running my mouth but I was a bit lost in my head. I just can't get over the fact that you continue to surprise me every damn day with the progress you've made and I am so lucky to have you in my life. After what happened with Milo I never thought I would find someone to love me. I felt like I wasn't good enough to keep him from cheating so obviously I wasn't worthy of love. But you showed me tonight how much you really truly love me and I was just kind of lost in that." 

    "Of course I love you. Jared since the day I met you you've become my entire world. I'm not going to lie and say going out tonight was easy, I was scared as fuck but I wanted to be there for you. You've been my rock for the last few months and I just wanted to be the same for you." Jensen placed his hand on his boyfriends face and leaned in to place a chaste kiss on his lips. 

       "Speaking of rocks." Jensen kissed Jared once more and got up off the bed. He walked over to his dresser, opened the bottom draw and pulled out a small black box. He opened the box and took out the contents, hiding it in his hand. He made his way back over to the bed and crawled back under the blanket with Jared. 

       "This is so not how I had planned this but now just feels right you know?" Jensen took a deep breath. He couldn't believe he was making another huge leap of progress tonight by doing what he was about to do. 

      "Jay I know we met under very odd circumstances and we got off to a rocky start. I am so glad you didn't give up on me when I pushed you away. I was just so damn scared that if I let you in you would eventually get sick of the way I was and you would leave. I mean who would want to be stuck with a boyfriend that couldn't leave the house? But you proved to me time and time again that you really loved me and you weren't going anywhere. And I regret doubting you for a second. I have never met anyone like you in my entire life. You literally light up the room the second you walk in, you are actual sunshine. And I can't go one more minute without knowing that the light you bring in to my life will never go out, so Jared Tristan Padalecki will you marry me?" Jensen opened his hand and showed Jared the ring he was hiding. 

      "Damn it Jensen!" Jared rolled over and reached in to his bedside table and pulled out his own little black box. "I had this entire elaborate proposal planned for us and here you go beating me to the punch." Jared opened the box to show Jensen the ring that he picked out. Thankfully they hadn't ended up with the same one again. 

    Jensen couldn't help but laugh. His boyfriend was pouting so much that Jensen had proposed before he had the chance. He realized that Jared still hadn't answered him. "You still haven't said yes yet. Gonna leave me hanging all night Jared?" 

      Jared grabbed the ring out of Jensen's hand and put it on his ring finger and proceeded to tackle Jensen on to his back. "Of course I'll marry you Jen. My God I can't believe you, just when I think I have you all figured out, you do something incredible like this." 

     "I'm still waiting for my ring babe."

  Jared pulled the ring out of the box and kissed Jensen's finger before placing it where he knew it would stay for the rest of his life. 

      "Not to kill the moment but I need to fuck you so bad baby, please let me?" 

   Jensen didn't respond with words, he just leaned forward and grabbed Jared's cock and lined it up with his hole. Using his other hand he grabbed Jared's ass and pulled him close. Jared's cock slid inside in one swift motion. Jensen wrapped both of his legs around Jared's back while moving both of his hands to the back of his head and grabbed fistfuls of Jared's hair.

    Jared began relentlessly pounding in to Jensen, so much for sweet and slow he laughed to himself. 

   "Fuck Jen, I can't believe I get to marry you. I get to have this sweet ass for the rest of my life. You feel so good baby."

  Now this was the Jared he was used to it. Jensen knew Jared loved him for more than his ass but he loved hearing his fiancé talk about him like that. And holy shit fiancé. They were really getting married!

      "Come on Jay fuck me harder. Want to feel you. Want to feel my future husband for days."

   At the sound of the word husband something must've switched inside Jared because he was suddenly pulling out and flipping Jensen over. He pulled Jensen up on all fours and slid right back inside, back where he belonged. Jared grabbed Jensen's hips with both hands hard enough to bruise and began to fuck him harder then he ever had before. 

       "You like that gorgeous? You like when I pound your hole like this? Want it to hurt Jen? Yea I know what you need." 

    Jensen couldn't control the sounds that Jared was punching out of his body. He felt a hand come down on his right ass cheek. Slap! And another one on the other cheek. God Jared really knew how to push the line between pleasure and pain so perfectly.

  "That's it baby take it! You wanna cum Jen? Gonna cum on your future husband's cock?" 

    Jensen just nodded, there was no way he was able to form a sentence with the way Jared was fucking him. The next hit to his prostate and Jensen was coming all over their bed. 

     Jared thrusted in a few more times and Jensen suddenly felt his ass fill with Jared's load. Once the aftershock of Jared's orgasm wore off he pulled out and began licking Jensen's thoroughly abused hole. After Jared licked Jensen clean he rolled them both so they avoided the wet spot that Jensen left on the bed. 

    Jensen would never get over the fact that after some of the dirtiest and roughest sex he's ever had they always cuddled together. He loved that Jared could go from a sex God to a cuddle bug in 0.2 seconds.

    They laid down facing each other with matching grins. 

  "I can't believe we're getting married. I never thought I could have this." Jensen was trying really hard not to cry. But he was pretty emotional.

  Just a few months ago he was perfectly fine with the fact that he would spend his life alone with just the company of his friends and family. And now, he was engaged to the most incredible man he's ever met. "Thank you Jay for saying yes. Thank you for making me the happiest I have ever been. Thank you for loving me."

     "Jensen you don't have to thank me for that. Loving you is the easiest thing I have ever done in my entire life. And I can not wait for you to be officially mine. You're really stuck with me now gorgeous."

     Jensen laughed, like being stuck with Jared was such a hardship. "I think you have that backwards. Also I've already put a lot of thought in this and I want to take your name. If that's ok with you?"

     Jared smiled at his fiance, "Of course that's ok with me. Jensen Padalecki, I kind of love the sound of that."

  Jensen kissed Jared sweetly, "Me too Jared. Me too." 

 Jared rolled on to his back and Jensen laid his head down on Jared's chest, listening to his heart beat. This is exactly where he belonged, he would happily spend the rest of his life just like this. And he had every intention of doing just that.


End file.
